I intend to help my men. I straighten my spine and summon my bravery. “Let’s do this.”
Lucien claps like an excited kid while Bardhyl grins, and Dušan draws me toward him. “Are you sure you’re okay with doing this?”
“Not really, but what are our other options?” I hold on to his hands a bit too tightly.
“I can see the fear in your eyes.” His expression softens, but there’s strength behind his gaze, like he’s ready to catch me if I fall from this mission. “What are you scared of?”
“That I’ll fail and somehow this is a huge misunderstanding that will get you three killed.” My arms tremble.
Concern worries his brow. “If you have several zombies out there following your lead, we’re already one step ahead of Mad.” His hands squeeze mine lightly as his words reassure me.
“What’s the plan?” Lucien looks at me, wearing the same painted expression of dread. “We track down a zombie, then we stay close as you do your thing in case we need to come help you?”
As much as dread fills me, I know pulling back now isn’t going to help us. I swallow my trepidation and suggest, “It’s still morning, so hopefully Ash Wolves aren’t roaming the woods. So we should do it now.” I hate my suggestion, but it’s for the best. This isn’t about me, but the pack’s safety.
“Agreed,” the three of them say in unison, which should make me laugh, but I’m too worried about having missed anything in our plan that might come back to haunt us. Mostly, I need to calm my jumping nerves that I have to change into a wolf again, and I still struggle to control her.
We are heading down the tunnels in no time, and the thought that so much relies on me making this work strikes me. It’s one thing to make the undead sit down, but I have no clue how I’m meant to get an army to attack just Mad without hurting innocents.
I push those doubts aside. For now, let’s just make sure they listen to me. It isn’t like we’re swimming in easy options, so I need to make this work.
Once we’re outside, my ears prick for sounds and my gaze falls on the four Shadow Monsters still sitting on the ground exactly where I left them. Each of them look my way, not seeming to notice my men.
“Well, fuck me!” Lucien growls. “Never thought I’d ever see anything like this.”
Bardhyl stands close by my side, and Dušan steps closer to the undead. He pauses within arm’s reach, but none of them even seem to observe him.
Bardhyl murmurs, “They’re under your hypnotic spell. Something that not only makes them loyal to you but has them listening to your orders. This is insane.”
“I want to get this done,” I say, cracking my knuckles. The moment I emerge from the cave’s entrance, I say, “Stand.” The undead climb to their feet.
Dušan retreats instantly in panic, as do the other two men.
“They’re not going to attack you,” I assure them. The four creatures stand there, staring at me. “And I think it’s best I do this alone.”
When I meet my men’s gazes, their eyes fill with the fire to argue, but I don’t give them the chance. “I’m quieter on my own. The zombies can’t trap me, and I can be faster this way.”
“I said, no more separation.” Dušan raises his voice, and it takes me off guard.
He comes from a place of caring, but my hackles rise too. “I’m doing this my way, and you know it makes sense. It’s not like I’m going to go far.”
He’s shaking his head. “I’m going with you, and as soon as we find zombies, I’ll retreat.”
It’s not something I want to keep arguing over when I know he won’t back down.
“Fine.” I unbutton the shirt and pull down my pants, then step out of them.
Their eyes are on me… I feel them like a lover’s caress. The cool morning breeze curls around my body, rousing goosebumps over my skin. My heart bangs in my chest as I remember Lucien’s instructions to bring out my wolf. I can do this.
It still terrifies me how much she fights against me when I’m in wolf form, so what happens that one day when I lose control of her? What then? She’ll kill everyone in sight?
As if sensing my uncertainty, Dušan whispers, “Deep breaths in and out, then let her flow out of you.”
If only it were that simple.
Swallowing hard,