point. As his mouth closes over my nipple, I arch off the blanket, wanting and needing more from him. This is nothing like prom night when I let Pete feel me up over my dress while we made out. The energy coursing through my entire body feels as if my hand is on one of those electronic balls at the science center that make your hair stand up.
I bring his face up to mine, my hands sliding under his shirt because I want to feel his skin and the chest he’s teased me with all summer when he’s been swimming in his board shorts.
His heavy breathing sends shivers up my spine as his face lands in the crook of my neck and we dry hump with most of our clothes still on. His hard length makes me widen my legs to get more friction on my sensitive area.
“I think I’m ready. Are you ready?” I say.
He nods and we both strip ourselves. I lie on the blanket, the moonlight falling over his body allowing me to see his shaking hands sliding the condom down his length. I’ve never seen a penis besides my brothers’ and that was obviously way different than this. For a moment, I second-guess that this is what we should do.
But then Colton’s body weight presses down on me and it feels right, and his knees widen my legs farther. The tip of his penis pushes at my opening.
“I’m going to take this slow, okay?”
I nod. He pushes in slightly, I wince, and he withdraws. “Maybe this is a bad idea. I don’t want to hurt you.”
My hands grip his shoulders. “No, please. I’m good.” I kiss the hollow of his neck, which relaxes him.
His head falls into my neck again and I hold his body on top of mine as I close my eyes, breathing heavily through the pain.
“Shit, Juno. I’m not sure.”
“Fast. Just do it fast, Colt.” My hands grip his shoulders.
He sighs in my ear and pulls back his hips. “I love you, Juno.”
Those four words shift my attention from the pain. It isn’t until he’s already completely inside me and the pain hits and subsides slightly that I’m back in the moment.
I’m sure he meant he loves me as a friend, and I love him too.
He moves inside me, the two of us awkwardly trying to get into a rhythm that just doesn’t seem to come.
“I’m sorry. Can you stop moving for a second.” Colton laughs and thrusts inside me, but he’s being gentle because he’s worried that he’s going to hurt me.
For a moment, we’re on the same page and his thrusts and his breathing increase. I love hearing how much he’s enjoying this.
“I can’t go much longer,” he says like a warning.
My mind is in so many places, I’m positive I’m not going to orgasm. I heard most girls don’t their first time anyway.
“Go ahead, Colt,” I say.
“Not until you,” he pants.
“Don’t worry about it.”
My name comes out of his mouth right before he stills inside me. “I’m sorry.”
I run my hands through his hair and stare at his face only millimeters from mine. I take my last opportunity to kiss him, and his body falls on me as his tongue explores my mouth.
We lie on that blanket for the entire night. We don’t have sex again, but we do kiss, and when dawn arrives, Colton leaves for college.
Colton was right to worry. That night changed us forever.
Fourteen
Colton
I knock on Brigette’s apartment door. The playlist I made her of my favorite songs is playing inside.
She opens the door. Her hair is pulled into a high bun, and she’s dressed in yoga pants and a short T-shirt that shows her stomach.
“Colton? What are you doing here?” She’s surprised to find me here because I never called.
It’s about time we talk everything out. She’s been dodging me, and the fact she doesn’t kiss me on the cheek says I was right that she’s worried.
“Can I come in?”
She steps out of the doorway and grabs her phone from the waist of her yoga pants, turning off the music coming through the speaker. Coming here always feels weird because the setup is the same as Brooklyn’s apartment was when she lived in this complex.
“I’m just cleaning so after the wedding, we can move it all out and I can get my security deposit back.” She goes to the fridge. “Drink?”
“No. I’m good.” I sit on her couch.
Her furniture is sparse because she doesn’t have a