my cheek, wiping away my tear. “This is plenty.”
“It’s kind of big.”
His eyes search mine for some hint as to what it could be, but he’ll never guess. And I know it’s going to take some convincing. He won’t go along with this right away.
“What is it?” he asks.
I break away from his hold and go to my bag, where I pull out a condom. “I want you to take my virginity.”
The shadows from the lanterns mask me from seeing exactly what he’s thinking.
“Why?”
“Because we’re going to college, and sooner or later, I’m going to want to cross that off my list. I don’t want to be a virgin forever.” It sounds crazy as the words spill from my mouth, but Emily’s words from when I was thirteen and hadn’t had my first kiss yet ring in my ears. Colton is the one I want to remember my first time being with.
“That’s not a reason, Juno.” He rushes by me, sits on the bench, and puts his hands in his hair. “You can’t just use me to get rid of your virginity. That’s not how it’s supposed to work.”
I sit next to him on the bench. Close, but far enough that we don’t touch. My hands press between my thighs and I lean forward. “I’m not using you. I don’t want to remember my first time as something bad or something I regret. I’d never regret it if it’s you.”
He turns his head to face me. “This is huge. This isn’t asking to borrow my bike while I’m gone. Or me leaving my lucky rabbit’s foot.”
“Do you still have that rabbit’s foot?”
He chuckles at my ability to change the topic so quickly. “Be serious.”
“I was. Do you?”
He shrugs. “I think it’s in my dresser drawer or something.” He buries his head back in his hands. “You do realize I’m a virgin too?”
I had my suspicions but didn’t know for sure. His ex-girlfriend Monica was clear nothing had happened between them and told me it was my fault. That I play mind games and the two of us get off on pretending we’re only friends.
“I didn’t know for sure, but…” I slide along the bench, so we’re hip to hip. “That’s kind of perfect, right? We both lose our virginity to one another. That way we’re ready for when we want to have sex. You’re my best friend, and I trust you so much. I trust you to be gentle and understanding. I really want my first to be you.”
He bites his lip. “Only you would come up with this plan.”
“I’m sure we aren’t the only best friends to lose their virginity to each other.”
He sits up straight and his cheeks fill with air that he slowly releases. “On one condition.”
I turn to face him, propping my one leg up on the bench. “What?”
“We kiss and have some foreplay. I’m not just gonna put the condom on and slide in.”
My body zings with electricity that he wants some intimacy with his sex. But I’m not surprised. That’s Colton. “You think I’m going to complain about kissing?”
“It’s going to be weird.” A groan rumbles up his throat. “Will this change things with us?”
I take his hand and lock it between mine. “No. We always know our friendship is the most important thing.”
He nods again and rocks back, entwining our fingers together. Sitting up, his eyes flare to mine and his free hand rises and cups my cheek. “Juno, you’re my everything. I cannot lose you, so I’m trusting you that you can handle any feelings that happen afterward.”
I blanch. “It’s me. Of course I can handle my feelings.”
A smirk crosses his lips and he leans forward, placing his lips on mine. It takes us a moment to get comfortable, but once he slides his tongue along my lips, I’m shifting forward and releasing our clasped hands so I can touch him.
Before I can straddle him, he draws the kiss to a close and leads me to the blanket. Colton lays me down and his lips land on mine once again. Our tongues glide together sloppily, but I enjoy every second. His fingers graze down my body, his hand sliding up the hem of my shirt, goose bumps chasing the feel of his hand on my breast.
He leans back to ask, “Is this okay?”
I nod, and his lips trail across my neck. He lifts my T-shirt and unclasps my bra with a perfection that has me thinking he practiced this move at some