I frowned, ‘either you have, or you haven’t.’
‘Let me explain.’
I waited while she gathered her thoughts.
‘I once put my complete faith in a man,’ she eventually said, ‘who then let me down.’
I wondered if she was talking about Hope’s father.
‘So, you do know then,’ I jumped in.
‘I haven’t finished yet,’ she tutted.
‘Sorry,’ I apologized, sitting further back.
‘As I said,’ she carried on, ‘he did let me down, but then I discovered why and I realized that what had happened wasn’t straightforward at all. It involved him having to make a very difficult decision and, even though I was hurt, I knew his choice was the right one because it caused the least amount of heartache for everyone involved.’
‘That’s very magnanimous of you.’
Sophie chuckled.
‘Perhaps,’ she said, ‘but it took me a long time to feel that way. We’re talking years, Tess, but time is a great healer. It passes and gives us perspective and of course, whether we resist it or not, life does move on from such things.’
I nodded.
‘So,’ she said softly, ‘are you going to tell me what it is in your life that you’ve realized isn’t what you thought it was?’
I shook my head.
‘Not today,’ I said, ‘but thank you for sharing your experience with me.’
‘I haven’t shared much,’ she said, ‘but the point is this: before you decide that you have discovered something isn’t true or real, and act on it, make sure you’re in full possession of all the facts and that you have them in the right order.’
Chapter 15
After our heart to heart, Sophie’s words – ‘make sure you’re in full possession of all the facts and that you have them in the right order’ – rang long and loud in my ears. I took out Mum’s diary again, scouring through the pages to check that I hadn’t missed anything. I certainly had ‘all the facts’ and, thanks to the dates typed at the top of the pages, knew they were definitely ‘in the right order’.
There was no mistaking their meaning and they were the final thing I needed to help me decide that I was going to quit my job with the family firm. Long before I had run to Wynmouth I had admitted to myself that I didn’t enjoy what I did anymore and now it was time to deal with Dad and put him back in the, horribly depleted, family pigeon hole. A part of me wanted to expel him from my life completely but, carrying so much guilt over one lost parent, I wasn’t about to deliberately sacrifice the other.
Major decision finally made, I refused to stress about it or let it dominate my thoughts any further. I would do my best to carry on with my holiday and throw myself into doing what I could to help out with the solstice party.
‘Tess,’ said Sam, when I turned up at the pub Tuesday morning, ‘good to see you.’
‘Good to see you too,’ I replied.
I looked at him for a long moment as he busied himself behind the bar but couldn’t find anything different about him. I don’t know what I had been expecting, but knowing now about the crash, I had thought there might be something. Some tell-tale sign perhaps, other than the obvious one, but there was nothing.
‘So,’ he asked, taking me completely by surprise, ‘how was your upmarket afternoon tea?’
I was all set to ask him about his appointment. I’d even rehearsed it back in the cottage, but now I found I was doing my best goldfish impression and no doubt looking like a right idiot.
‘I can’t compete with dainty light bites, I’m afraid,’ he carried on. ‘It’s a sausage baguette or nothing here at the Smuggler’s this morning.’
I hadn’t realized it was a competition.
‘Well, that’s just as well,’ I said, sitting on a stool at the bar, ‘because that’s exactly what I want. And anyway, how did you know about my tea?’
‘Wynmouth is a small village,’ he smiled as he poured me a coffee, ‘nothing stays secret around here.’
‘But I didn’t have tea in Wynmouth,’ I pointed out.
‘That makes no difference,’ he told me. ‘The manor isn’t that far away, is it? You have to remember that this is rural East Anglia, Tess. You aren’t invisible here like you are in a city.’
‘I see.’
‘George’s sister is friends with the grandmother of the lad who waited on your table,’ he elaborated.
‘Right,’ I said, my brain trying to unscramble the complicated trail.
I gave up in the end, it was far