better idea I borrowed the name. You’ll see what I mean in a few hours. We’re going to stop by my apartment before getting on the road to San Francisco, so I can pick up a few things.” I frowned and added, “I obviously never imagined I’d be taking you to see my home when I left for Catalina, and the place is a huge mess. Please don’t hold that against me. I was only home for a day after filming wrapped at the first location, and I pretty much just threw my stuff everywhere.”
“That’s fine,” he said with a smile. “It’ll give me a chance to see you in your natural habitat.”
He was joking, but I started to worry about what kind of impression my cluttered home was going to make on him. I wanted to convince Gabriel I had my shit together, and my apartment really wasn’t going to sell that message. There was nothing I could do about it, though. It wasn’t like I could ask him to wait in the car while I went inside to pack my stuff.
I changed the subject with, “I’ll go get us some coffee while you pack. Is it okay to just help myself to stuff upstairs?”
He nodded. “All the food and drinks in that kitchen are shared. By the way, some of the guys do a big brunch for all of us every Sunday morning, so we should plan on joining them in about an hour. Since the resort’s closed, that’ll be happening in the main building.”
“Sounds good.”
I started to leave the room, and he called after me, “I take my coffee with—”
“A ton of milk and a little sugar.” I grinned at him over my shoulder and said, “I was paying attention yesterday.” He was grinning too as the door swung shut behind me.
My smile faded when I reached the main floor and spotted Tracy Garcia. He was sitting by himself, drinking coffee at the counter that fronted the open kitchen. I hated the fact that we were dressed identically in white tank tops and gray sweatpants. Normally, I felt pretty good about my body, but next to this behemoth I looked like his mini-me.
We frowned at each other as I stepped into the kitchen, and then I ignored him while I opened a few cabinets and searched for mugs. After I found them, I discovered the coffee pot was nearly empty, so I poured the half cup that was left and started brewing a fresh pot.
My back was to Tracy, and I could feel his eyes boring into me. Once I started the coffee maker, I turned to him and blurted, “You know, I’m not the enemy. I want the same thing you do, for Gabriel to be happy.”
His voice was a low growl when he said, “You just fucking went off and left him behind.”
It took me a minute to process that, and then I asked, “Are you talking about four years ago, when he put me on a bus to Reno?”
Tracy’s scowl deepened. “Were there other times you abandoned him?”
“I don’t know what the hell you think happened four years ago, but let me paint you a picture. I was starting to go through withdrawal, and I couldn’t stop shaking. I was sick and dizzy and trying not to puke, and with the last of my strength I begged Gabriel to come with me to Nevada. I fucking begged him. He wouldn’t do it, though. He said I didn’t need a junkie like him dragging me down. He wouldn’t even give me a way to contact him after I got out of rehab.
“He literally carried me onto that bus because I was too weak to make it up the stairs. Then he took off, and before I could go after him and try again to get him to come with me, I ended up passing out. By the time I came to, the bus was outside San Francisco, and I had absolutely no way of finding him again. If you want to hate me for leaving him behind, get in line. I spent the past four years hating myself for it, even though I know for a fact there wasn’t a single thing I could have done differently.”
Tracy’s dark expression wavered for a moment. I could tell he was doubting his version of the truth, which I was sure he’d twisted around and misinterpreted from whatever Gabriel had told him about the day I left. After