Bennett and committed to him, what is holding you back? You’re both old enough to know what you want in a partner.”
“I want to be confident in my abilities—and myself. I want to know that I can manage this house and the inn business. That I can mold myself into who I want to be first—without molding myself to a husband’s idea of who I should be.”
“I understand, and that sounds like a wise plan,” her mother said, nodding. “I know Jeremy was exciting in the beginning, but he became overbearing—and then almost nonexistent in your marriage.”
“Sometimes it was hard to see that from inside the relationship,” Ivy said. Her mother had summed up her marriage pretty well.
“Of course it is,” Carlotta said. “After a certain age, many women emerge from marriages—either through divorce or widowhood—feeling freer than ever, shedding the constraints of social dictates. As many of my friends matured, they experienced a metamorphosis.”
Ivy hadn’t considered that, but she could feel those shifts occurring in her, too. She kicked up a little sand as she walked.
Carlotta clasped Ivy’s hand. “Over this past year, you’ve certainly shown a talent for reinvention. I’m proud of you for all you’ve come through and accomplished in such a short period.”
“Thanks, Mom. But I still feel like I’m just getting started on this new phase. What happened to the last two years?”
“Time slips away from us, my dear. Be aware of that.” A contemplative look filled Carlotta’s face. “To decide on one course means to cut off another. If you delay your marriage to Bennett, think about what could be lost in the interim. I don’t mean to rush you—and marriage isn’t necessarily right for some couples—but when you become certain about a future with him, don’t waste precious days you could be spending together. We haven’t as many as we would like on this earth.”
Ivy squeezed her hand. “Which is why you’re committed to this voyage, right?”
“That’s part of it,” Carlotta said, smiling. “Your father and I worked together as equal partners for many years. Now that our work is finished and our children are grown, we want to enjoy being together. We want to recapture the wonder and magic of discovery that first brought us together. At the heart of it all, we’re best friends and lovers of life.” A small smile curved her lips. “And never lose the romance, my dear.”
Ivy liked to hear this. If she needed role models for a good marriage, she didn’t have far to look.
A moment later, her mother’s smile faded. “However, you must also consider the potential for loss that a delay might have.”
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
“Bennett is attractive, dynamic, and kind—that’s a rare combination to find in a man, especially at our ages. Frankly, I’d be surprised if he hasn’t had opportunities with other women before you. Would he consider a delay a denial? Ultimately, you should ask yourself this: Would you be willing to lose him to find yourself?”
“This isn’t a competition, and he says he’ll wait for me.” Ivy lifted her chin. “If our connection is that tenuous, then I shouldn’t mourn the loss if another woman could step in so swiftly.”
“That’s nice to think, but you would be heartbroken, wouldn’t you?”
Ivy sighed. Her mother could always cut through to her deepest feelings.
“Weigh the alternatives and be sure about your decision,” Carlotta said. “Keep the communication with him open.” She stooped to pick up an interesting shell. “How does Bennett feel about this plan?”
“I’m fairly sure he understands. I told him I’m committed to him in my heart.” Ivy paused, thinking about their last conversation. She realized the risk her mother had brought up. “When I decide the time is right to get married again, I’d like for you and Dad to be there for our wedding. Maybe when you return.”
“When you decide? Don’t assume he’ll be patiently waiting to act on your desires, regardless of what he says.” Carlotta shook her head. “And don’t wait so long that he loses interest, darling. Ideally, you want to feel like your husband is your best friend, but it’s a fine line. He’s your husband, your partner, and your lover. Be careful that he doesn’t start treating you too much like a friend before the marriage.”
“Mom,” Ivy protested. “I’m sorry, but that’s an old-fashioned attitude.” Irritated, she bent over, snagged a piece of driftwood, and flung it out to the ocean.
Carlotta tossed the shell into the surf. “Maybe, but I’ve seen it