than Pa. But she could make you wish she’d just belt you and get it over with.”
“I’m sorry you had to suffer abuse like that,” Bennett said. Physically and verbally. He rested a hand on Mitch’s shoulder. That explained a lot about the poor decisions Mitch had made early in life and how he came to serve a short prison sentence for theft.
Mitch shrugged. “Doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t like to talk about it. But what happens when Shelly and I have kids?”
“You know how to treat people now.” Bennett hesitated, but he had to ask. “Do you and Shelly ever have the kind of arguments your parents did?”
“Not at all. I couldn’t imagine treating her badly.” Mitch frowned. “Now that I’ve told you this about my folks, I hope you don’t think I’ll do that to Shelly.”
“I don’t see you doing that. You’re one of the most easy-going guys I know.” The relaxed beach vibe seemed deep in Mitch’s soul. Bennett sensed his friend had been striving for inner calm for a long time, but he’d never known why.
Mitch looked out toward the horizon. “I took up surfing because I wanted to conquer something bigger than my pa, bigger than myself. Out there, I could be free. I could forget my anger, overcome monster waves, and not hurt anyone.”
Bennett realized Mitch had been waging an internal battle. “Surfing can be very therapeutic.”
Mitch paused with the applicator in mid-air. “So, there’s this generational angle. Experts say that kids who were beaten…” He stopped, unable to go on.
“Might be apt to repeat it?” Bennett offered gently.
“Yeah,” Mitch replied, letting out a whoosh of breath. “I’d never want to hurt my kids, but people say you have to have a lot of patience with them.”
“That’s true.” Bennett had seen that with Logan, his ten-year-old nephew, and Logan was a pretty good kid. Many young children had melt-downs.
Mitch curled a fist into his stomach. “What if this meanness is inside of me, and I don’t even know it? What if it comes out when Shelly has a baby, or the kid gets older? If that’s what’s going to happen, then I’m not fit to be a father. I don’t think I should risk it.”
Bennett could hear the anguish in Mitch’s voice. “Has this been keeping you up at night?”
“You have no idea. And what’s worse is that I can’t talk to Shelly about this. I’m afraid it would scare her away to think that I could turn into some kind of monster.”
“You have to talk to her. I think she’ll understand.”
Mitch finished the application of the sealant and put down the sponge. “Not if I tell her I can’t risk having children. I know how much she wants a baby. And I can’t stand to break her heart.”
Bennett nodded. This explained why Mitch had been acting odd and shying away from setting a date for the wedding. “You need to resolve these feelings before you and Shelly tie the knot. Speaking as your friend, I don’t see any signs of abusive behavior in you. But I’m no expert in that field. I think you’re right to be concerned and brave to face it. That’s half the battle. You’re a good man, Mitch. Never forget that.”
Mitch’s frown eased a little. “Thanks for saying that.”
“It’s true,” Bennett said. “Still, if you can’t come to terms with having children before you get married, you’re going to leave Shelly with a tough choice.”
Mitch drew his hands over his face. “That would be a nightmare for both of us. I still have a lot of years ahead of me if I decide to have kids later, but Shelly doesn’t. That doesn’t matter though, because I wouldn’t want to have children with anyone else. I just don’t know what to say to her. Maybe the words will come to me.”
Bennett looked at his friend with compassion. “You shouldn’t wait until after you get married and then decide you don’t want to have children. That would be deceitful of you, even though I know you wouldn’t mean to be.”
“You’re right.” Mitch pressed his hand against his chest. “I’ve never met anyone like Shelly. She makes me feel like anything is possible, and I feel like the best version of me when I’m with her. Do you know what I mean?”
“That’s called love, my friend.” Bennett was proud of Mitch for having the courage to talk about his feelings. A lot of men he knew didn’t like to talk about that.
“Shelly