had begun to care for this man. And even though she was angry at him. . . though she couldn’t exactly say why. . . she wished to save him from being hurt.
“What do you hope to gain from this journey?”
“I already told you. I want to know why she left us. ”
“And then what?”
She could tell it wasn’t a question he was prepared for. “What if she tells you something you don’t wish to hear?”
He grabbed his cup and drank deeply. “I expect as much.”
That’s when she realized. Alex hated his mother. He was not merely curious about why she’d left. Nor was he simply upset that she had abandoned them. It was an unsettling emotion from a man who appeared to hate no one, save his enemies. From a man who always smiled. His face bore out the intensity of his feelings, and Clara wanted to put her arms around him.
Instead, she waited.
And decided to trust him, as she hoped he would trust her, while she did so.
“I was born a baron’s daughter.”
He looked up.
“Gilbert was our armorer. I was forced to leave, and he saved my life.”
“He must have been very special to your family.”
If she kept talking, Clara would tell him everything. He already knew too much, and if she wasn’t careful, she’d put him in danger too.
“Aye, he served my family loyally for many years.”
The finality in her voice quieted them both. The playful mood forgotten, she retreated to more somber thoughts.
“I do hope you find her,” she said quietly.
Alex shrugged, but the seemingly flippant gesture was undermined by the thickness in his voice. “Sometimes,” he said, picking up his cup, “I pray that I do not. What will I do next? Continue to live with the knowledge that I am a man whose mother does not love him. What else could I do?”
Clara wished she knew. She wished she had answers for them both.
16
A
lex rode down the path from the castle entrance before the household began to awaken. He’d made a hasty retreat from Clara’s chamber the night before, soon after their discussion of his mother. When he’d told her he would be leaving for a few days, she’d hardly flinched. Because she didn’t plan on staying? He’d nearly changed his mind in the morning—he’d nearly gone to her. How could he leave not knowing if she’d be there when he returned?
But as she’d asked him twice now, what did it matter?
“You’re a fool.”
He glared at his companion, Sir Geoffrey Waryn, who rode beside him. His unwanted companion. But when the reformed reiver had learned Alex planned on visiting the small village of Elkview, just outside Kenshire’s vast border to the south, Sir Geoffrey had insisted on accompanying him. In fact, Gerald, the castle constable, had actually argued for him to bring additional men.
“I travel alone,” he’d told them both.
“The hell you do,” Geoffrey had countered, the constable nodding in agreement. “Troubles in the middle marches have spread here to the east. The English Warden may have been absolved of guilt, but the effects of that scandal continue to destabilize the tenuous peace here. That your brother allowed you to travel here with only a squire, and a female one at that, is remarkable.”
So he knew. Of course Lady Sara had told him the truth. “Toren is very much aware of the ‘troubles’ and does not presume to tell me where to go or with whom.”
They came to a well-worn path, the sun just beginning to rise, and Geoffrey took the lead.
“Alex,” he started again, this time in a lower, more serious voice. “I’m here to help. Your brother has made peace with mine, and our families are inextricably entwined. We can continue to rue the sins of the past or move beyond them as allies.”
“We’ve already made our peace,” Alex said, referring to his last visit to Kenshire, when Geoffrey's brother had apologized for his role in Catrina’s capture. “Indeed, your family has lost more than most.” If a man whose inheritance, home, and parents had been taken from him on the same day could forgive those responsible, the least he could do was accept the gesture graciously. Though the Scottish king had demanded that Toren take Bristol Manor, they certainly bore their measure of guilt. He smiled. “But if I’m forced to do so every time we meet, I fear this will be the last time I travel to Kenshire.”
Geoffrey’s eyes narrowed. He pointed to a heavily wooded path, and Alex followed.