child.
He got into bed beside me, and instead of sticking to his side, he wrapped his arm around me and spooned me from behind. “You want to talk about it?”
My arm rested over his, gripping it like a lifeline. I could feel his pulse through his skin, the blood pounding away and giving him life. He was my captor, but he’d never made me feel more safe. It didn’t make any sense. “No…”
He kissed the back of my neck before he rested his face against my hair. “I’m here if you change your mind.”
I closed my eyes and felt sleep begin to take its toll. “I know.”
I slept in late because of my rocky night.
Crewe was gone, probably already showered and ready for the day. He was usually awake as soon as the sun was up. He seemed to hit his private gym then got ready for the day. I knew he exercised because he wouldn’t look like that unless he were committed.
I was relieved he was gone so I wouldn’t have to face the humiliation right away. I had bad dreams from time to time, but nothing as intense as that. It felt like I was actually there, seeing the blood drip down their faces and seep into their clothes.
It was a dream I wanted to forget.
But the more terrifying the dream, the more difficult it was to block it out.
I wished I could call Joseph. He was the one person in the world I could talk to about this.
After I showered and got dressed, Crewe walked inside. He was already in his suit and tie, jumping into the workday. Instead of giving me his typical look of indifference, he stared at me like I was damaged goods.
Which I hated. “What are you up to today?” I didn’t give him the chance to ask how I was feeling. I didn’t want his concern, not after I’d embarrassed myself. When he held me, I should have pushed him away.
But I needed him too much.
“I’m heading down to the headquarters to meet with Crow and Cane. Just forgot my watch.” He grabbed it off the dresser and fastened it around his wrist.
I was disappointed he was leaving. I would be stuck in this house with all of his men. As long as I didn’t leave the room, they shouldn’t bother me. I could wait to eat until he returned. “See you later.” I didn’t beg him to take me like I did yesterday. After the pathetic way I cried in his chest last night, I wasn’t going to show an ounce of weakness again. It didn’t look good on me.
It didn’t look good on anyone.
He adjusted his cuff link as he looked at me. I’d never cared for brown eyes, but I loved his. They were warm like mocha but dark like the bark of a tree. They could be intense or playful at any given time. “Would you like to come with me?”
I froze in place because I couldn’t believe he made the offer. After meeting with Crow and Cane yesterday, he was angry that he took me to begin with. Now he was asking on his own? It only took a few seconds for me to figure out why. “I’m okay. Thanks anyway.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You don’t want to come?”
“No. I’ll stay here.” I didn’t mind pestering him until I got what I wanted, but the last thing I wanted was his pity. If he felt too terrible handing me off to Bones, that was one thing. But this was another.
He slid his hands into his pockets as he stared me down. “London.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, refusing to give in. “Hmm?”
“I know you want to come, so what game are you playing?”
“I’m not playing any games. You’re only inviting me because you feel bad for me. Don’t feel bad for me. I hate that.”
He glanced at his watch like he was running late. “I think having a pity party for yourself is worse than my feeling bad for you. But do whatever you want.” He walked to the door with no intention of looking back.
I didn’t want to be here alone, not when I had no idea how long he would be gone. I couldn’t explore the property when Dunbar was giving me evil looks all the time. He was one of Crewe’s trusted employees, but I knew he would betray Crewe if he thought he could get away with it. I could picture him