If Ayden can find us so quickly, can Shaw?
“What …“ He pauses, taking a big breath and slowly releasing it. “What am I doing here? What are you doing here? What the hell is he doing here? What are the two of you doing here?”
I bite my lip and look at the ground, trying to find an answer somewhere on the forest floor.
“I can’t tell you.”
I look at him. Wild eyes meet mine, but when I hold his gaze his breathing calms. He takes one more calming breath and swallows hard.
“Are you,” he looks at Forty-four, then back to me, “are you with him?” Disgust laces every word.
“No,” I answer quickly.
I, too, look over at Forty-four, knowing he can hear us. He’s leaning against a rock, turned away from us, fully dressed in a white shirt that no longer has his number on it.
“What are you doing then?” Ayden asks quietly.
I turn back to him and look into his big brown eyes. He’s my best friend. In just weeks, I’ll never see him again. I can’t force my mother’s secrets on him. Secrets I barely know.
“My mother asked me to help her with something important. I would have told you, but she didn’t exactly ask me until this afternoon. I’m sorry, Ayden. Just don’t worry, okay?” It’s as much as I can say. It’s actually all I know and the fact that it’s so little makes my stomach sink.
He shifts and stands closer to me. “Will you be back before I leave?”
He’s so quiet and unsure of everything. Suddenly my friend who always has the answers is as lost as I am. It’s like I can see his thoughts.
“I don’t know.” I take his hand in mine, trying to give him comfort when I know there isn’t any. “I’ll be okay. In a couple weeks, you’ll be the most important person I’ve ever met in the council and you won’t have to big brother me anymore,” I say with a forced laugh, trying to make him smile.
He looks into my eyes with complete seriousness. “I’ve never been less of a brother to anyone than I am to you, Fallon.” He closes the space between us and presses his lips softly to mine. His hands hold my hips tightly and pull me closer. The steadiness of his heartbeat is felt beneath my fingers.
My thoughts are swirling like water down a drain as I think of how to fix us. How to make the last time I’ll ever see Ayden be perfect, but out of reflex I start to push him away. My fingers press lightly against his chest.
A loud thud sounds behind us, and we both pull apart when my mother’s backpack lands at our feet. I look up where it came from and see my mother lowering herself over the edge to climb down.
“You have to go, Ayden. I’m sorry,” I say pulling him around the corner of the cave to try to hide him from her.
Ayden shifts his weight from one foot to the other, almost reluctant to leave. He holds my hand tightly in his.
“You have to go. I’ll be back to camp as soon as I can,” I say looking up at him. The awkward gangly boy I grew up with is no longer within the man who stands before me now.
He’s confused. I’m confused. About us, about myself, about our lives.
“If you don’t come back before I leave, I’ll still see you again. Somehow. Even if I have to sneak into your window at night when we’re fifty.”
I laugh at him, leaning my head against his chest as heavy pain fills my lungs because I know a lie when I hear one.
“You’ll always have me,” he whispers. He slowly pulls away, kissing my hair before grudgingly turning back the way he came.
Four
Where Our Journey Ends
Forty-four leads our way as we jog through the thick woods for an hour, taking short breaks for me to catch my breath.
A roar of an engine halts our movements in an instant. Just behind us, a vehicle drives past on a road we crossed just moments ago. The vehicle flies by us, but then stops and reverses back to where we are, the dark forest shadowing us from any onlookers.
At the first sound of the unseen vehicle, Forty-four and my mother start running again. The fear I see in Forty-four’s steely eyes is enough to tell me how to react. I run the fastest I’ve ever ran in my life. My