That’s all I remember. Sorry.”
Josie smiled. “No need to be sorry. You’ve been really helpful.”
Paige and Lana chatted for a few more minutes while Josie finished her coffee. Paige walked her to the door. Before Josie could open it, Paige said, “I’m sorry we weren’t more help.”
“It’s no problem,” Josie said. “I actually enjoyed being here. It’s been a tough few days. You and Lana are good company.”
Paige said, “You don’t have to leave, you know. You’re welcome to stay. Talk, if you’d like. I’m a pretty good listener.” With a laugh, she gestured toward the other side of her house where Josie knew her office was located.
“Oh,” Josie said. “I don’t—I’m not—therapy isn’t really for me.”
“It’s usually the people who say that who could benefit from it the most, you know,” Paige said, a warm smile on her face.
“I don’t think it’s appropriate,” Josie said. “I went to high school with your daughter. I’m here about a case…”
Paige nodded. “Fair enough. But we could just talk. I’ll go first. Sometimes I worry that Lana doesn’t believe me when I tell her how proud I am of her because I am always so concerned about her safety and her health. I feel like a terrible mother. I am proud of her, but I wish she was here, closer to me, not half a world away in an underdeveloped country. It’s selfish and yet, sometimes I can’t help it. But I really am proud of what she’s doing. I think she’s amazing.”
“Have you told her that?”
Paige laughed. “Of course. We’ve fought about it many times. I don’t think she believes anything I say at this point. I’ve lost all credibility. Remember when you were a teenager and you would go through stages where nothing felt right? You felt awkward and maybe a little ugly, and your mom—”
“My grandmother,” Josie corrected, her voice catching on the word.
Paige nodded. “Your grandmother. Maybe she told you that you were beautiful and perfect? Did you believe her?”
In fact, Lisette had used those very words on several occasions, as well as many others. Her favorite thing to tell Josie in those low teenage moments of self-esteem crisis was that Josie was “extraordinary.”
“No,” Josie said. “I didn’t believe her for one second. But I’m glad she said it.”
Paige nodded. She looked at the floor, smiling. Suddenly wanting to fill the silence, Josie said, “My grandmother gave me some news yesterday, and I’m not really handling it all that well. I don’t want to talk about it because—” She broke off.
Paige said, “Because then you’ll have to deal with it.”
Josie nodded.
“Is she okay? Your grandmother?”
“Oh, yes,” Josie answered. “It’s not anything medical. Actually, for her, it’s great news.”
“But not for you?”
“I don’t know. I guess it’s not bad for me. It just changes things.”
“In a bad way?” Paige asked.
Josie shrugged. “I don’t know. I really don’t know.”
“Change is scary but it isn’t always bad, you know,” Paige told her.
It is if you get left out in the cold, said a voice in the back of Josie’s mind. She didn’t say it out loud. She didn’t want to, but she felt she should tell Paige something true, something borne of her own vulnerability, since Paige had done so. Also, she felt comfortable with Paige. Perhaps it was because she didn’t know every horrifying detail of Josie’s past already. Right here, right now, in this moment, Josie was just a woman with an issue, not a damaged person whose childhood had been filled with unspeakable torture.
“I’m afraid I’ll be… left behind,” Josie said carefully. “It was always just me and my grandmother. Us against the world, sort of. There used to be Ray too.”
“Your boyfriend from high school?” Paige asked. “I remember you discussing him with Lana the other day.”
“Yes. After college we got married. Then he died. My grandmother and I have been through so much together, including his death. Now there’s—” She stopped. She didn’t even want to say it. It couldn’t be real, could it? Had she imagined the entire conversation? Gretchen hadn’t been there to overhear it. Was she in some kind of fever dream? No; Lisette had called Noah, warned him about the bombshell. Now he and Misty were waiting for some dramatic emotional reaction from her, and yet, she still couldn’t believe it was really true. “Now someone has come forward and says that he’s her grandson. No one knew about him. He didn’t know about her either until recently.”
Paige said, “That’s wonderful that