the nun’s corpse. Geryon was sprawled over to the side, licking his balls.
“Hey, dude,” Geryon drawled. “I been waiting for someone to show. He’s totally non-conversational. Were they doing it? Like, him with a nun? That’d be messed up, you know what I’m saying?
And he made a crude gesture with his talons, forming a circle with his foreclaw and thumb, and then plunging another claw in and out of it. Nero ignored the idiotic demon and trotted to Satan’s side.
“Sir, is that the nun? That’s a very cruel way to kill her.”
Satan looked up.
“It’s all over,” he said. “Heaven wanted her dead and I was keeping her alive to give me an edge, and then she jumped. I brought her here to keep her safe and even in my own realm they convinced her to jump. I couldn’t watch her suffer so I killed her. And now it’s all over.”
“Bear up, sir,” Nero said. “You are the Prince of Darkness. We’ll find a way to turn this to our advantage.”
“No, we won’t,” Satan said. “They beat me once and they’ve been beating me ever since. Before we even started to fight they had me beaten. Every time I think I’ve beaten them I find out they’ve gotten there ahead of me.”
Nero watched as Satan’s spine took on the consistency of spaghetti and his boss slumped down until his chin almost touched the ground. Once upon a time, when Nero was alive, if someone was not doing what Nero had instructed them to do he would have had that person sewn into the skin of a wild beast and then had them torn apart by pain-crazed dogs. Or he would have soaked the noncompliant individual in paraffin and set him or her alight to serve as illumination for one of his garden parties. But a thousand years of unspeakable torture can change a man and now Satan’s despair merely stirred sympathy in Nero’s breast. He knew all too well what it was like to feel that the whole world was against you. For much of his reign the whole world had, in fact, been against him.
“Sir, come back up to the Fifth Circle. You’re doing no one any good here. I’ll have them bring the woman’s soul when it’s ready to be extracted.”
“What does it matter?” Satan said. “If I go up, they’ll defeat us. If I stay here, they’ll defeat us. They’re coming to take over Hell, Nero. That’s what they told me. That’s what they want. To annex Hell and turn us into their employees.”
“Let’s discuss this in the business office,” Nero suggested. “It’s quieter there.”
“No,” Satan said. “I brought her here to keep her safe and I failed. If I can’t keep one nun safe in my own realm, how can I protect any of us from Heaven? I’m staying here.”
“You’re needed, sir.”
“For what?” Satan asked. “To screw up even more?”
Nero couldn’t budge him. The Archfiend was determined to stay with the nun until her spirit was loose enough to be extracted and then...who knew what would happen then? Nero sat with Satan for a while, but there was a feeling of oppression in the air, as if some great, invisible plan was coming to fruition all around them. It made Nero feel claustrophobic and he eventually left, instructing Geryon to come find him the instant Satan stirred.
Gabriel burst in on Michael who was either contemplating the beauty and majesty of God’s creation, or just staring at some orchids while getting a massage from two Work-Stay souls.
“He killed her,” Gabriel said.
Michael looked up from his orchids.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“This is no time to be mistaken.”
“She did what Jude said she would. She’s dead.”
“At Satan’s hand?”
“No question.”
Michael unfurled his wings and stood. The Work-Stay souls prostrated themselves.
“I will journey to the Empyrean then, and tell The Creator of Satan’s latest outrage. Begin the Great Plan without me. I will return as quickly as I can.”
“Yes, my lord,” Gabriel said.
Michael left his chambers and walked down the halls of Heaven until he came to the door that led to The Stairwell. Opening it he walked up The Stairs for many hours until he reached The Door at The Top. He entered, and walked down The Hallway until he reached The Final Door, which led into The Room, beyond which lay the Empyrean, the realm that was the source of the physical Creation, in which dwelt his God.
“Smell you later, dude,” Geryon said and flapped away leaving Satan all alone with Sister