dinner, or get a gift for him, and it was always wrong in some way. Either she’d spent too much on his gift, or too little. And the meal she planned was too early, or too greasy and it made him feel sick – and, he’d add, she didn’t need the extra calories.
Jade turned to find a place to settle down for her picnic. She still thought that counseling was odd at times. It made her say things that she was embarrassed to admit, and it also made her do things she didn’t always feel comfortable doing. It wasn’t just weird assignments like going on this hike, but also in practicing different thinking patterns – patterns that didn’t echo her ex-husband’s critical comments.
Counseling was the reason that she no longer thought it was one of her own personal faults to expect her partner to buy a card, or even attempt to be pleasant on Valentine’s Day. She now realized that for all those years, she felt too frivolous and silly to actually expect something – anything, even a single flower – for her birthday.
Now she was confident – well, as confident as she could be about anything – that it was okay to have standards. It didn’t make her shallow or selfish. It meant that she was standing up for herself. Like Greta always said – you teach people how to treat you. And Jade was ashamed by how badly she had allowed Brandon to treat her.
Jade finally found a flat spot under a large madrona tree and spread out the small blanket she’d packed. Carefully, she pulled out a slice of the chocolate cake that her mom had made for Valentine’s Day.
It had just appeared on her doorstep with a note that said, “I love you!”
It was one of the nicest things she’d ever gotten for Valentine’s Day. That was another thing – looking back on the last few years of her relationship with Brandon, she was exceedingly embarrassed. What did people think of her when they saw her putting up with his behavior?
Jade shook her head. Greta always reminded her that it was impossible to change the past and she knew that there was no use dwelling on it…
She unwrapped the cake and pulled a fork from her backpack. Yes, it was hard to believe that she had put up with Brandon’s increasingly bad behavior. He wasn’t always that way, though – it took years for him to get that bad. She didn’t know how it happened at all, though. She was still trying to understand her role in it.
Jade took a bite of cake and reached out to touch the red bark of the tree next to her. It was a gorgeous, grizzled thing. How it grew at the top of this hill through strong winds was beyond her. She leaned back and admired the waxy green leaves, holding firmly in the cold winter breeze. She pulled out her cell phone and snapped a picture of the scene to remember the moment.
She was looking at the picture when she heard something snap behind her. Jade whipped around, scanning the trees and rocks for anything that looked like, say, a happy couple out on a hike, but there was no one there. Maybe it was just a bird. Or maybe…
Maybe it wasn’t such a great thing that there weren’t a lot of people in the park? What if there was just one other person, someone whose plans weren’t as wholesome as hers?
She quickly finished the rest of the cake, feeling guilty that she wasn’t savoring her mom’s baking as much as it deserved. Her mom would understand, though.
Jade quickly packed up her blanket and took another look around. She tried to make it look casual, so if someone was watching her, they wouldn’t know that she was on to them. Or that she was crazy. She took one last look around before heading down the trail.
After a few minutes, she felt confident that no one was following her. It was just her overactive imagination. Even so, she decided that it would be just as well for her to celebrate her progress and set goals as she took a shorter trail back to the parking lot.
For the things she was proud of…well, she liked to think of things she was thankful for. Jade knew that she had a wonderful family who supported her through the divorce. She also got to live with her best friend Morgan, who was always