my head, I snuggle into his embrace. “No. Just want to lay like this.”
“You’ve got it.” He kisses the top of my head and holds me tight.
I fall asleep with his fingers combing through my hair, my head resting on his chest, feeling blissed out.
Twenty-Two
Connor
A few days later, I can’t take the shit in my house anymore. Damien keeps arguing with Mom about the benefit “incident”. He means that Mom put on her happy wife mask. Get over it, bro.
Dad’s been scarce, most likely off with the librarian from school he’s been spending time with, making the house feel like the inevitable train wreck we’ve all been barreling toward: Damien and Mom getting married. That’s what she keeps promising him, anyway.
Damien as my stepdad? No fucking thank you.
It’s after one in the morning and they’re at each other’s throats. I have half a mind to stomp to the master bedroom and tell them I have school in the morning.
Their shouts filter past my bedroom door and drown out the music I’m blasting. Jesus. I shake my head, entering a new file in my encrypted program full of people’s secrets, adding an old incident report of Landry’s friend with the leather jacket, Fox Wilder.
“The fuck kind of name is Fox?” I mutter, swigging from my near-empty can of Coke as I input the data.
Holden’s dad coughed it up when I pressured him to run a search or I’d start letting his skeletons out of the closet. It didn’t turn up much. My access and leverage only extend to the Ridgeview Police Department he heads. There’s a report on a car accident that killed his parents and landed little Fox Wilder in the foster care system, whisking him away from Ridgeview at a young age. The rest of the files are sealed or missing, which is weird. I only put a medium amount of effort in before I give up.
Whatever, I have enough to shake him down if he ever steps out of line with me. With that leather jacket and the giant chip on his shoulder, it’s only a matter of time before he stirs trouble in this town.
“You’re making me crazy, Vivian!” Damien screams. “I’ve put my entire career at risk because I love you, and you’re acting like that’s nothing.”
Mom’s response is muffled by the heavy beat drop on the song playing on my speakers, thank god.
“Why are we still waiting for this? Why am I always the one sneaking around like your mistress? I thought you were in love with me!” Damien wails. Actually full on bleats, the sound of his betrayed misery like some dying animal. Maybe this will be their breaking point. “Divorce isn’t going to ruin your political career!”
All right, screw this. I’m not staying in here. I’ll head out back to smoke until they’ve worked out their shit. I know from sickening experience that the bigger their blowouts, the more frenzied their makeup sex is.
No one should have to listen to their mom like that, let alone walk in on it like I did when I first discovered them. It’s fucking gross.
I can’t wait to save up enough to move out. My trust fund inheritance from granddad won’t pay out for a while, but I’ve got my thumb in a bunch of pies. I won’t wait around. I’ll do anything I can to get the hell away from my mother’s chain leash. The bitcoin investments are growing, and I’ve been dabbling in learning how to make an app. After I saw Thea’s vulnerable security on her computer network, I’ve been thinking about creating something for desktop and mobile that will protect the same secrets I mine for.
“We’re not having this discussion again,” Mom snaps as I head downstairs on my way to the back door.
Damien’s shouts follow me when I slip out back with a joint, my head pounding. I should leave the back door open so their argument can wake up the whole neighborhood.
Sprawling on a lounge chair, I sigh in relief as I light up, taking a deep drag on the joint. I fold an arm behind my head and play around with making the smoke curl into shapes. As the high sets in, I relax.
I pull my phone out, the joint dangling from my lips as I text Devlin, sending him a GIF of a sad frog in black and white with the lyrics from Simon & Garfunkel’s The Sound of Silence to convey my despair.
Connor: Darkness is my only friend.