a new light. It makes my heart beat hard and my palms sweat.
I want to stop thinking about it, but it’s like being dumped in ice water. Every time my mind jumps off it, the wet clothes remind me how tightly they cling to my skin. I don’t know how I lasted in denial about this for so long.
Would I ever have figured this out without Connor? Or would I have buried it deep down, pretending it was harmless, when in reality it was a poison flaring up when I least expected it?
Maybe I was an idiot.
With a sigh, I park the car. I’m not an idiot, but my mind is still jumbled. I’m beating myself up for something I couldn’t control.
I knew I was uncomfortable in some way talking to Henry, but I always brushed it off in order to please him, too worried to let go of the connection to him. What if I didn’t find someone else? I didn’t want to go back to being invisible again.
“It will be okay,” I murmur.
I grab my bag as I climb out of my car and follow the trickle of people walking to the holiday market. I didn’t have time to hide the file I took from Connor before I left, and I couldn’t chance Mom snooping, so I left it in my big purse and brought it with me. I might have come to terms with the truth about Henry abusing me, but I still need more time before going through whatever proof Connor handed over. Too much at once is devastating.
Besides, I’m here to take my mind off of this and enjoy the market with Maisy.
As I’m walking with the crowd, a couple catches my eye. I roll my lips between my teeth and push down the pang in my chest. I just need some time with Maisy, then I’ll talk to Connor.
“Hey!” Maisy waves at me from the arched entrance wrapped in boughs of fir and festive ribbon. She’s wearing maroon yoga pants, knee-high boots, and a vintage boho-style fringe poncho with a dark green fair isle pattern. Once I’m close, she does a double take. “Whoa, dude. Are you okay?”
I put on a little makeup to cover up before coming, but I guess it doesn’t do much to help my swollen eyes. If I get into it now, I’ll definitely break down again.
“Yeah. Still raw from everything.” I offer a smile as I adjust the chunky scarf poking out of the neckline of my white wool coat. “I just want to have a good time.”
“One good time, coming up.”
Maisy hooks her arm with mine and leads us down the stall-lined main street. The folder sits heavily in my bag. My plan is to ignore it while Maisy and I stroll around the lively market.
The heavenly scents of spiced meat, cider, cinnamon, cranberries, and pine trees fill the air. It’s everything winter and it smells amazing, lifting my spirits.
Maisy leans into my side, fluttering her lashes as she rolls her eyes back dramatically. “Oh my god, it smells so good.”
“It does.” This time my smile comes more easily. “First stop, hot drinks and pie pops?”
She snaps her fingers and points at me. “You read my mind.”
We veer left toward our favorite stall to kick off our yearly tradition. Maisy gets a hot cider and I ask for extra marshmallows in my hot chocolate. We toast each other, tapping our cherry pie pops before laughing into the huge bites we stuff in our mouths. It feels really good to laugh. The tart burst of fruit on my tongue makes everything feel a little better.
“Ready to roll?” Maisy blows on her cider. “I think for this year’s prank gift, I’m getting my mom one of those carvings with moose crap.”
I snort as we amble with the flow of traffic, pausing at a few stalls to check out the wares on display. Maisy has a tradition where she tries to annoy her mom by getting her the weirdest gift she can find every year, acting like she really thought her mom would love it. Neither of them will give in or back down, so Maisy forges on with her mission.
“Trying to outdo that hideous cross stitch from last year?”
“She didn’t even blink at that! I thought she would, I mean it was so detailed. How do you stitch shading for a bull’s balls? A true artist at work.”
“That thing still gives me nightmares.”
Maisy muffles a proud laugh as she sips