this?" she asked, studying him. This meant something to him, but she couldn't tell what.
"Let's just say I was in their position once. Having an ally as powerful as you might become would have been a comfort," he said, not looking at her.
She snorted. "I have a hard time imagining that."
Graydon exuded control and confidence. He gave the impression of being in command of every situation. It was hard to believe there was ever a time when he'd been powerless.
His eyes cut to her, solemn and serious. "I was not always as I am now. Once, my situation was even more precarious than theirs. I was lucky to find a benefactor to take me in and train me. He brought me to the attention of the emperor, which eventually led to my current position. It could very easily have gone the other way. I would not see the children harmed, but our society prevents me from directly interfering."
Kira could understand what he was saying. When you're weak and powerless, you'll do anything to escape, even if it means endless hours of training so intense your body gives out by the end. Even if it means leaving little pieces of yourself behind.
She looked at the children through new eyes, the direness of their predicament finally registering on her. Liont glanced at her from where he was helping them get situated.
He was the head of the children's honor guard. Until now, she hadn't seen the near desperation on his or his companions’ faces. They looked like soldiers about to be sent on a suicide mission. Grim and resigned. They'd do their duty even at considerable cost to themselves.
Graydon saw where she was looking. "The best outcome they can hope for is for Luatha to absorb their entire House. Even then, they will be reduced in standing and rank, while the rest of Luatha looks on them with pity or derision.”
"Unless Joule can prove himself worthy of the title of lord of his House in the trials," Kira said slowly, putting together all the pieces.
Graydon inclined his head. "Yes. That is the best option for them. If he were to pass, it means he would be considered strong enough to protect his household and he’d be allowed to hold their fealty. However, such an event is unlikely. There are those who would wish his House to fall into memory. They will make his journey as hard as possible."
"You said best case. What is the worst?"
"Those who aren't accepted will seek shelter with other Houses, their former affiliations dissolved. It is not an easy fate."
And because they'd once been loyal to another, they were unlikely to find another House to take them in, Kira finished for him.
“Why can’t Joule wait till he’s older to attempt the adva ka?” All he needed was a little time to become seasoned and grow into his abilities.
“He could do that,” Graydon conceded. “But his path will be twice as difficult. He’d need permission from his new overlord to verify he was ready. Even then, it would likely be too late for the rest. There is no going back in time. They would have been affected by the years apart, and reassembling them would be twice as unlikely and unwise.”
What he didn’t say was time had a way of changing you despite your best intentions. New experiences shaped you and molded you, forcing you to adapt or perish. Even if you remembered those you left behind with fondness, they might not be the same person when you caught up with them. Their loyalties could have changed, their needs evolved.
This still didn't answer how he thought she could help them. As much as she felt for them, there was little she could do. She was here for a specific goal. Getting distracted wouldn't help her achieve that.
"Don't think I've forgotten about the Curs," Kira challenged, changing the subject.
His teeth flashed, dark amusement on his face. "I wouldn't dream of it, coli."
He moved away before she could respond.
“Arrogant ass," she grumbled to herself as she headed toward Joule and Ziva.
"Graydon has excellent hearing," Amila said in a neutral voice.
A wicked smile curved Kira’s lips. "I'm counting on it."
Amila blinked at her, the idea someone would purposely pull her commander’s tail obviously never occurring to her.
Kira reached Ziva and Joule and took a seat beside them. She ignored the way Ziva's face lit up as soon as Kira arrived, something like hero worship shining from her eyes.
Kira shifted, uncomfortable at the sight.