spend more money?”
Bex’s eyes widen. “I don’t get my records at Urban fuckin’ Outfitters,” he says with a laugh, reaching out and taking the album gently from my hand.
“Oh no?” I ask, thrilled and a tiny bit horrified by his language.
Bex grins, a flash of perfectly straight teeth. “No,” he says, lacing his fingers through mine and tugging me a step closer to him. “I get them at a record store, like a person with half an ounce of self-respect.”
I make a quiet sound then, not quite a laugh, startled by the contact and the movement and the sudden suspicion that something bad is about to happen. He reaches out and pushes a loose strand of hair away from my face.
I don’t have time to register any of it though, because that’s when Bex puts his free hand on my cheek, ducks his head, and kisses me.
My brain shorts out for a second, lights flickering during a thunderstorm. It’s like his mouth is pressed to someone else’s, not mine. I stand there frozen and let him do it in the moment, until I feel his hand move down from my face toward my chest. Suddenly every panic response in my body comes screaming to life.
“Um,” I yelp, pulling away and taking an instinctive step backward. My neck feels like it’s on fire. My skin is two sizes too small. “What are you doing?”
“Easy,” Bex says immediately—holding his hands up in surrender, a half smile playing across his face. “I thought you—” He breaks off, clearing his throat. “Easy.”
“Um,” I say again, taking another step toward the doorway. I remember my mom once describing going out to dive bars in her twenties, how at the end of the night the bartender would suddenly shut off the music and turn the lights all the way up, the fun abruptly over and the whole world in stark relief. “No, I just—I should probably go.”
“Oh! Yeah, totally,” Bex says. He pats his pockets, flustered. “Lemme just grab my keys and I can—”
“You know what?” I shake my head. “It’s not too far from here. I can totally walk.”
Bex frowns. “Marin,” he says. “Hey. Can we just talk for a—”
“That’s okay,” I say, my voice canary-bright and maybe a little hysterical. “We’re totally good, I swear.” I gesture toward the doorway. “I should. Um. Enjoy your weekend!”
I thunder down the narrow stairs and hoof it all the way home, even though it’s freezing—my hands jammed in my pockets and a cold wind slicing through my coat. My mom is in the kitchen when I get inside, gathering ingredients for a winter spice cake to bring to my gram while Gracie plays chess on her laptop at the kitchen table.
“Hey,” she says, setting the bag of flour on the counter. “I was wondering what happened to you.” She looks at me for a moment, eyes narrowing like possibly she can see the blood moving under my skin. “What’s wrong?”
I hesitate for a moment, gaze flicking back and forth between my mom and my sister. I have no idea what to say. If I’m being honest with myself, there’s always been a tiny part of me that wondered if maybe some of the stuff Bex said wasn’t totally aboveboard, if a teacher that chill and funny—and, okay, hot—was too good to be true. If sometimes his attention didn’t feel . . . different. But I said yes to the ride anyway, didn’t I? I sat with him in the newspaper office.
I agreed to go over to his house.
I mean, what did I think was going to happen?
“Nothing,” I say now, clenching my fists around the straps of my backpack, then turn on my heels and head upstairs. I shut my bedroom door behind me, digging my phone out of my pocket and scrolling to Chloe’s name before realizing I have no idea what to tell her. God, there’s probably not even anything to tell. I’m blowing this way out of proportion, most likely. Maybe it’s not even that big of a deal. After all, it’s not like some creepy perv forced himself on me in a dark, deserted alley. It’s Bex.
It’s Bex.
And he kissed me.
And maybe I wanted him to, in a way? Except also, I didn’t.
I’m still clutching my phone like a weapon when suddenly it buzzes in my hand, startling me so badly I drop it altogether, watching it skitter across the carpet like it’s got a mind of its own. I reach down and