Kostyk?”
Zoya stirred her tea, afraid to show how much Alina’s words meant to her. After the war, she had begun her journey as a member of Alina’s chosen Triumvirate, unplagued by hesitation. She’d thought she was born to lead. But through time, and trial, and failure, doubt had crept in.
The Darkling looked only bemused. “If Ravka is so strong, why is Fjerda attacking? Why are the wolves at the door once more? Do you really believe these cubs can lead a nation?”
“Safety for the Grisha. A united Ravka. What if they are the ones to give this dream to us? Why does it have to be you? Why do you have to be the savior?”
“I am the man best suited to the job.”
But there was something in the Darkling’s voice that made Zoya wonder if he was quite as sure as he had been before he’d taken tea with a Saint.
The Darkling’s shoulders lifted. “It has always been easier to see me as the villain, I know. But for a moment, can you imagine that I have only ever tried to do what is best for my country and my people?”
“I can,” said Alina. “Of course I can.”
“Don’t say that!” Misha cried, his face flushed. “He never cared about any of us!”
“Tell me you regret some of it,” Alina said softly. “Any of it.” Her voice was gentle, coaxing. Hopeful. Zoya knew that hope. When you’d followed someone, believed in someone, you didn’t want to think you’d been a fool. “It’s not too late for you.”
“I didn’t come here to speak lies,” said the Darkling.
Alina blew out a disgusted breath, but Zoya could only shake her head.
“Do you really believe this is the life you were meant for?” the Darkling asked. “Powerless and pathetic? Wiping the noses of children who will forget you? Telling them bedtime stories that will never come true?”
But this time Alina smiled. She reached for Mal’s hand. “I am not powerless. Those stories tell us the only people who matter are kings and queens. They’re wrong.”
The Darkling sat forward, but suddenly Zoya wasn’t looking at the Darkling at all. It was Yuri’s bony, desperate face that stared out at her, Yuri’s frightened voice that shouted, “He’s going to—”
The Darkling seemed to be falling forward onto his knees. He reached out and seized Alina’s and Mal’s clasped hands. The samovar clanged to the floor.
Zoya stood, knocking her chair backward, but it was already too late.
“No!” Alina shouted. Oncat hissed.
Shadows flooded the room. Zoya couldn’t see, couldn’t fight. She was lost in the dark.
15
NIKOLAI
THE MORNING OF THE WEDDING, Nikolai dressed with care. Zoya should be here, he thought as he pinned a sprig of blue hyacinth to his lapel. This was a momentous day, a turning point for Ravka, the culmination of careful planning and a potential diplomatic disaster. But what possible good could come from Zoya being with him today? She would see him in his fancy new clothes?
It still didn’t sit right. They had traveled together for months, endured hardships, witnessed miracles. She had become his closest confidante and most trusted adviser. And he’d sent her away. Not just away, you podge. He’d sent her on an impossible quest with their most deadly enemy. Well, one of them. Truth be told, it was hard to keep track of who was deadliest these days—the Fjerdans with their war machines and Grisha prisoners, the Kerch with their unparalleled navy and bottomless coffers, the blight slowly devouring the world, the Shu who were currently arriving at their door.
Nikolai’s flyers had been tracking Queen Makhi’s airship from a distance, and he’d received word when the party arrived. They’d docked at Poliznaya, where they’d unloaded horses, carriages, and a large retinue of servants, including twelve Tavgharad in black uniforms. General Pensky had greeted them in full military dress, and his soldiers had escorted them on to Os Alta. Nikolai had made sure that the crowds assembled in the streets were watched over by First Army soldiers and Grisha Heartrenders, prepared to drop the pulses of anyone who wanted to make trouble. Though they hadn’t been at war with the Shu in several years, there was still plenty of anti-Shu sentiment, and he didn’t want this day to be more fraught than it had to be.
Tolya knocked at the door to Nikolai’s dressing room and leaned in. “They’re at the gates. You’re making ships again. That nervous?”
Nikolai looked down at the little wire boat in his hand. It was an old habit