if she had to. The trick would be making it look like an accident. His body was healthy, untouched by any death or decay for her power to exploit.
“I’m not proud,” she said, letting tears fill her eyes. “I know what I have agreed to.”
Joran scowled. He never showed emotion around Prince Rasmus, and the anger transformed his face, making him look like the brutal witchhunter he was.
“He said he would be back early,” she continued. “But the others came instead.”
“I don’t know what game you’re playing at, but the commander will hear of it.”
“He showed me the secret path across the ice moat,” Nina said, feeling the darts slide between her fingers.
Joran stopped short at that. No one knew the secrets of the ice moat except the drüskelle. “That cannot be.”
She would have to be precise. Two darts through the inner corners of his eyes, driven directly into the brain. She could extract them before she left and hopefully keep any blood or mess to a minimum. It would look like he’d been taken by some kind of fit.
Nina stepped to the left, maneuvering so that the light shone directly on Joran’s face to aid her aim—then paused.
“Those are relics.” Bones spread out on an altar cloth, laid atop a trunk for clothes. A woodblock carved with the rough shape of a sun propped against the wall.
Joran tried to move his body to block her view, but it was too late.
“That’s an altar,” Nina said. “To the Saints. That’s why you’re not with the prince tonight. You came here to pray.”
Joran didn’t deny it. He stood as if rooted to the spot, motionless in the way of an animal sensing danger. He didn’t know the half of it. She could kill him now. Quickly. Easily.
“Whose bones are those?” She kept her voice gentle, easy, as if she were asking about what he’d had for dinner last night and not heresy committed within the walls of the Ice Court.
Joran opened his mouth. She saw his throat bob, the words seeming to fight their way out. “Alina’s,” he rasped. “I … I bought them down in Djerholm. I know they’re probably fake, but—”
“But they brought you comfort.” People all over Ravka, and maybe now Fjerda too kept relics that had supposedly belonged to the Saints. Finger bones, a fragment of spine, scraps of an ancient garment. Nina’s power told her that the bones Joran had purchased weren’t even human.
“She was a soldier,” he said, almost pleading. “She saved people. Fjerdans and Ravkans alike.”
“Is that what you want?” Nina drew a little closer. She could hear voices in the hall. She needed to get out of here, get back out the window and down to the ice moat with Hanne. But she also needed Joran to trust her. If he mentioned her presence here to Brum, she was done for.
“I want to be … good.” He shook his head, fighting his own logic. “Soldiers aren’t good. They’re loyal. They’re brave.”
He had never seemed so young. She forgot sometimes that he was only a boy really, not even seventeen.
“They can be good too.”
“Not us.” He looked at her then, his blue eyes haunted. “Not me.”
“Alina Starkov wasn’t just a soldier,” she said very quietly. “She was Grisha.”
He squeezed his eyes shut, head bowed as if ready to take the beating he knew he deserved. “I know.” His voice was harsh. “I know it is sacrilege.”
“Not necessarily.”
Joran’s eyes snapped open.
“Maybe Grisha power isn’t quite what we’ve been led to believe,” she said. They were Matthias’ words from so long ago. They’d been a balm to her, a gift that had helped her heal and accept who she was. “Maybe their power is a gift from Djel, one more way he shows his strength in this world.”
“No … no, that’s blasphemy, that’s—”
“Who are we to say we know the mind of god?”
Joran peered at her as if he could find the truth somewhere in her features. “Does the commander … does he know you think this way?”
“No,” Nina said. “It is not seemly. But I cannot help the pattern of my thoughts.”
Joran placed his hands to his head. “I know.”
“Are there others among you who feel this way?”
“Yes,” said Joran. His jaw jutted forward. “But I will not give you their names.”
“I didn’t ask for them. I never would.” She wasn’t going to inform on Joran—why would she? But after failing so thoroughly tonight, knowing that the religion of the Saints had spread to the