didn’t bother me, the idea of them doing stuff together when I wasn’t there did. Was that because I was a petulant child? Was that what dad had meant and why he’d called me a kid so many times last night?
I glanced at Uncle Denver and shifted my weight before asking, “How would you feel if Dad and I did stuff together and you weren’t there?” I paused. “Hypothetically.”
“You mean like jacking off for him and eating your cum?”
“Oh. Right.” My cheeks burned. I’d forgotten about that.
“It doesn’t bother me. In fact, hearing about it was kind of hot. This conversation should be had when we’re all together.”
I understood, but that answered that. It was me who had the issue, not them.
“What’s on the agenda today?” Uncle Denver asked.
“Not sure. Got some stuff to sort out.”
“You made two promises to me, remember?”
“Yeah. Exclusivity and get tested.”
“Right. The clinic downtown is open on Saturdays. We should go later.”
I nodded. “Sure.”
With that, I got up and headed to the spare room, locking the door behind me. I had stuff to think about.
I flopped onto the bed and folded my hands under my chin. I didn’t want to be seen as a child. It stung. Dad and Uncle Denver were both twenty years or more older than me. How could I stop looking so juvenile in their eyes? I wanted them to treat me like an equal.
The conversation I’d had with Dad the other day came back to me, and I knew of a few goals I could work toward that might help.
Chapter Fourteen
Denver
Monday mornings at the office were quiet. People were often recuperating from their weekends and walked around clutching coffees and mumbling greetings, nowhere near enthusiastic enough to carry on lasting conversations. It suited me fine. It was the one day of the week I managed to get my own work done without an excessive amount of interruptions.
There was nothing exciting about my job. It was all numbers and Excel spreadsheets and data and formulas. It was squinting at a computer for eight hours a day and hoping things balanced when you closed the books at the end of the month. Mundane and life-sucking was the best way to describe it. Since getting my degree, this had been my life.
Routine. Boring.
I’d had a few boyfriends over the years, a handful of hookups, but none of them were serious. None of them provided the spark I’d been chasing since college. The only person who’d ever made me feel alive was Harley. When Edison had shown up at my house the previous August, I’d had no idea the impact he was going to have on my life or the deals I’d be making in the future. He was his father’s son and just as big a weakness. I craved and yearned and wanted more from him the same way I had wanted Harley all those years ago.
After this past weekend, I knew where my destiny lay, and it was with my brother and nephew. Together. The three of us. I had no doubt. My heart had never been more certain of anything.
I didn’t have a child, so I couldn’t adequately step into Harley’s shoes, but I liked to think I understood his dilemma in my own way. Ever since the day Shianne had announced her pregnancy, he’d feared he wouldn’t be a good dad. In his mind, he wasn’t. Edison disagreed. I disagreed. Harley struggled, but didn’t all parents?
The fact that he worried about Edison’s mental health in all of this told me he was a better dad than he’d ever given himself credit for.
My cell phone rang at just after ten, Harley’s name flashing across the screen. We hadn’t heard from him since he’d stormed out Saturday morning, much to Edison’s chagrin.
“Hey. Good morning.” I shoved away from my computer and kicked my feet up onto the corner of my desk.
Harley mumbled and groaned. “Is it still morning? No wonder I’m tired.”
“Still not sleeping?”
“So-so.” A pause. “How’s Eddy?”
I knew my brother, and he wouldn’t appreciate it if I lied to him. “Confused. Angry. Doing the whole teenage, mopey, emo, life-sucks-and-everyone-hates-me thing.”
Harley chuckled. “He has his moments. Now you see why I’m worried.”
“A piece of advice, if I may?”
“I’m listening.”
“I know I’m not a parent, but I do know what’s going on inside Eddy’s head for the most part. Do you know how?” I didn’t wait for an answer. “Because he is so much like you when you were twenty, it’s almost frightening.