Ruins of Chaos (Legacy of the Nine Realms #3) - Amelia Hutchins Page 0,94

and brimstone, or I could walk away, compliant to what this world turns into, and become nothing.”

“What are you talking about?” Knox asked softly, still seated on the bed from the sound of his voice and the distance from me.

“Taren showed me two paths of what I would become once I have finished fixing this world. I can be the cold, calculated witch who enforced the wielding of no magic within the Nine Realms, or I become something soft and loving. He didn’t show me enough. There was a child, but I don’t know if he was mine. I assumed he was, but what if he wasn’t? What if there is nothing?” I turned, staring at Knox as he watched me quietly working through my mental breakdown.

“If I rise to be the high queen, there would be no more magic within the Nine Realms. I would murder witches for using it, making magic forbidden. If I don’t rise, I think I become nothing. I don’t get to be a mother, and I don’t get a mate. I get to help others, but I give up everything to make it happen for those who deserve it.” My body trembled with the realization of what was going to happen.

“You doomed me to become a vile monster or nothing at all. Because what I do now won’t change anything or anyone’s mind. I can’t undo the past for you. I can’t bring your wife back or your son. I’m just the monster this world intended to make me into because nothingness for me would be a hard pass. I am going to become the High Queen of Witches. I’m going to slaughter them all,” I frowned, fighting tears. I dropped my head back, staring at the ceiling.

“I have already set these events into motion because I’m an idiot. I thought I could change the world by fixing what is and has happened while forgetting the past. People don’t move on from grieving. They just learn to live with the pain, as you are now, Knox.”

“You will never sit on the throne as high queen, Aria. I won’t allow it to happen.” Knox moved to where his clothes were set out. “You won’t become a mother or find a husband because you’re mine. I can’t love you because of who and what you are. That would mean admitting I was capable of loving the creatures that murdered my wife and child. I will, however, ensure you’re never harmed and that you never want for anything as long as you live.”

Knox slipped his pants on, padding across the stone floor in bare feet until he paused in front of me. His eyes searched my face, finding the pain his words caused, etched in my expression before snorting and shaking his head.

“I will escape you. I will find a mate and be a mother.” I balled my hands at my sides, staring at him with defiance burning in my eyes. It was bad enough he’d brought up his wife, but he’d just basically told me I’d never get anything I craved in life.

“Liliana carried my child, which means she was my mate. I won’t be able to give you children. I won’t allow you to carry anyone else’s child in your womb because the thing inside of me would go insane. Whether you or I like it, Lennox thinks you belong to him. If you escaped me, I would always find and get you back. There is no world where you are not mine and at my side. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you can move on from thinking that children are a possibility for you or your future.”

“You expect me to accept never being a mother because you said I couldn’t be? You’re not the only man within the Nine Realms who wants me. Dimitri wants me, Knox. My creature wants a child. She will settle for a mate who can provide it for us. There are other men, too, like Aden, who would accept me for who and what I am without calling me trash because of my bloodline. I am not ugly. I have a good heart. I am not cold and lifeless like you are, Knox. I am not buried in the ground with my dead!”

His hand snaked up, gripping my jaw as his breathing grew labored and pained. His eyes burned with regret and something much deeper, something I didn’t understand or could grasp. He dropped his hand as