fire?”
“It’s my job, Derek.”
“I know,” I murmured before I pretended to clear my throat. “You’re right. It’s your job. Let’s go.”
Don’t go. Don’t go. Don’t go.
The thought ran through my head, over and over, as I looked over at Parker, as I looked at the determined expression on his face, the concern that seemed to thread all throughout him.
I knew that I couldn’t ask him to ignore the call.
But there was just something about him running toward the flames that made me so nervous for him, that made me feel so unsettled as I imagined the blazes flicking along his skin.
And yet, despite all my reservations, I started to head toward the Bed & Breakfast parking lot, with Parker soon falling in place at my side, a look of determination still etched across his face.
I’d been standing out on the lawn for what felt like the last five years.
Parker and a few of the other firefighters had rushed into the building nearly as soon as we’d arrived on the scene. I hadn’t even had a chance to say anything to him once we pulled up to the burning building, Parker immediately hopping out of the car and getting his boots on the ground.
And now, as I waited for him to come out of the burning apartment building, the fire still blazing across the bright sky, I was doing my best impression of someone who couldn’t care either way if Parker ever came out of the building again.
Why would I?
If Parker happened to pass away while fulfilling his role as a firefighter, I knew that he wouldn’t have regretted it for a moment. He pretty much told me that himself when we talked about how much he wanted to live out Joey’s dreams for him, how much he wanted to feel connected to his best friend again.
Besides, if Parker was just another client, I wouldn’t have felt anything too much about him not making it out of the fire, because I never got close enough to clients to ever care about them outside of a professional level. Sure, I would’ve been hurt by his death, the same way I would’ve been hurt by any client’s death, but it wouldn’t have stayed with me, it wouldn’t be something that haunted me in my dreams or pulled at my heart every night.
But even as I tried to convince myself that Parker was just another client, I couldn’t help but nervously watch the burning apartment’s front door, secretly wishing that he’d just come out already so I wouldn’t have to be so worried about him anymore.
When I saw several members of the firefighting team that’d run into the building with Parker slowly trudging their way through the front door, I couldn’t deny the way my heart skipped a beat in response. I hastily scanned their faces, waiting to spot Parker’s own in the crowd.
I scanned.
And I scanned.
And I scanned.
But Parker wasn’t there.
Billy’s face stuck out to me though as he coughed up a storm, his feet heading back toward the lawn. I quickly walked over to him, a burning question already at my lips. “Billy, where’s Parker?”
“What?” Billy coughed again, his fist held up to his mouth.
“Where’s Parker, Billy?” I pressed. “He went in with you, didn’t he? Where is he?”
“Fuck…” Billy’s eyes went wide as he glanced around the lawn. “Fuck! I don’t know. I don’t know! He was supposed to be right behind me—Hey! What the fuck are you doing?!”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll be right back,” I said, pulling Billy’s smoke mask out of his grip and putting it over my head. “I’m just going to grab Parker.”
“What the hell, Derek? You’re going to get yourself killed!”
“Yeah, like I said, I’ll be right back.” I waved off Billy’s concern, my feet already heading toward the burning building. As I pushed my way through the crowd of firefighters, I felt some of their hands try to grab onto my arms to hold me back, desperately trying to keep me from stepping foot inside the apartment complex.
I managed to push right past them all and soon I was inside the burning building, smoke swirling all around the room.
Shit.
I could barely see anything. My vision was blurred by all the smoke and the bits of ash that floated down from every part of the ceiling. I took a blind step forward, my stomach growing tight with concern as I realized that I may have just run headfirst into my own fiery grave.
But when I