them. They saw us as a novelty. We saw them as ridiculous.
This morning Sam didn't join me. The anticipation of seeing him built and swam in my blood, but when I realized he wasn’t here, the heat cooled and left me feeling sick with disappointment. Had something happened? Was he hurt? Was it Mama? I pulled out my phone on instinct and sent him a message. Just a short one, and I prayed he would answer.
You okay?
I hit send before even thinking about what time it was. But he'd been here with me every morning. He should be awake.
My phone chirped, vibrating in my hand.
Just slept in is all. How did you get this number?
Shit. How did I explain to him why I have his phone number? It wasn’t like I'd gotten it in some kind of creepy way. Ever, Clint's wife, gave it to me because she thought we'd need to be able to be in contact since we were working so closely with the contestants. It was a totally normal reason. I’d just never used it before.
Ever made sure I had it. For show-related stuff.
This isn’t show related.
You're right. I'm just used to seeing you out here in the mornings.
He didn't respond. But at least I knew he was all right.
It was good that he wasn't here. I tried to make myself believe the lie. But on the inside, disappointment took over, and I couldn't deny that I'd let myself hope I'd see him today, that I'd get him alone for this one hour.
The ride wasn't as soothing this time because he wasn't with me. I couldn't lie to myself and give it any other reason. When I got back, the guys were all congregated at our usual meeting spot, cameras getting set up, the show about to go on. Sam stood next to Greg, the two of them seeming a lot more friendly than I expected. I didn't like what I saw.
Not. One. Bit.
Not bothering to dismount, I rode straight out to them, but I couldn't muster even the ghost of a smile.
“Morning, fellas."
Greg looked at me with a devious grin. "You guys have any extra coffee around here? I'm beat. It was a late night." The look he gave Sam made my blood boil. I knew that look. That was the look of somebody who had a secret.
"No. You get your coffee before we start, or you don't get it at all." My words were a low grumble, and I knew I sounded angry. I really didn't care.
I shot an icy glare at Sam before turning my horse around and heading for my group of cowboys. I used that term very loosely.
"Okay, boys, today’s the day. We got a herd of cattle that needs moving, and you six are coming with me. If you thought the trail rides were hard before, you're gonna be changing your tune. Get your horses saddled, and meet me out here. You have ten minutes."
I didn't look at Sam again. I couldn't. He’d moved on, and I clearly hadn't. We worked together, that was it. There was nothing else between us but the ghosts of who we were. This just solidified it.
Ten minutes later, I was leading the six men out to pasture five. We had a small herd to move, so it shouldn't be hard, but I had a feeling I would be the one doing most of the moving.
I was right. By the time we finished, I'd ridden harder than I had in a long time, then I'd had to rope more runaway calves than usual because those assholes couldn't follow simple instructions. My whole body ached, and all I wanted was some alone time with my shower. Instead of getting that, I rode up to flashing lights and an ambulance at the barn.
"Shit," I muttered. I dug my heels in to urge Sunny on faster, terror gripping me when I saw Sam's horse hitched to a post near the ambulance.
Grabbing the nearest person, I looked him in the eye and said, “What the hell happened? Where's Sam?"
"He's with the paramedics. They tried to ride a bull. It knocked him down, and well… I had to look away."
Oh, my God. Sammy. The fear sparking in my mind had me dismounting and hitching my horse quicker than I should've. I ran for the ambulance. A bull could kill a person easily. We all knew it—that's why we were always so careful.
By the time I reached the aid car, they’d closed