it aside. But that one thing made him give in and let me take that damn thing from him.
"Going for a ride?"
"I thought I might. Sunrise seems to be the only peaceful time around here right now."
God, we were so similar in so many ways and completely different in others. “Seems like you and me have the same idea."
Unease washed over his features, but he stood and stared at me. "Well, why are we standing here shooting the shit? Time’s wasting, and before we know it, the sun will be up and everyone will be here."
I didn't argue. Instead, I grabbed everything I needed for my horse. He struggled with his as I laid all my stuff outside Sunny’s stable. Then, swallowing hard, I went to help him get Shadow ready.
I was surprised when he stayed with me on the ride. We didn't speak. Didn't stay close. But we were riding in tandem. I didn't stop until we got to the pond, the place I knew was special to the Rykers and their dad. Where they'd spent summers swimming, playing, and watching the stars.
I got down and hitched Sunny while he did the same. Then the two of us quietly walked to the small hill just before the pond. We stood under the dark sky, our gazes fixed on the horizon as it began changing colors. Splashes of purple changed to burnt orange, lightening with every passing moment.
"You said it was nothing." Sam's voice was raw and rough, carrying the weight of ten years of pain. Ten years I'd left him with.
I turned to face him, but he wasn’t looking at me. He was fighting for control. "Sammy, look at me."
I couldn't make out the expression in the depths of his eyes because the light was too dim, but I didn't need to. It was there in the slash of his mouth, the furrow of his brow, the tightness in his throat.
"You could never be nothing. Even if I tried to convince myself that's what you were. It was only because I was trying to protect myself—and you."
"I can't let you in again. It took me so long to get past you."
Yeah, I deserved that. I'd been the one to push him away. I'd hurt him when he was at his most vulnerable. "And did you? Did you get past me?"
"Eventually."
“You're better off than me. Because I've lived here for ten years without ever being able to go a day without your name filling my ears, memories of you running through my head. Even your damn horse is still here, and I've had to take care of her. Everything about this place reminds me of you. Everyone here talks about you. Every time I watched you ride and win, I knew I did the right thing by letting you go."
"That wasn’t a decision for you to make without me. It's just another reminder of why we wouldn't have been any good together anyway."
"I know. But a lot can change in a decade. The things we thought were right don't seem like it anymore."
"Ain't that the truth?" He reached out and put his palm on my shoulder, the first friendly gesture I'd gotten from him since he got back. "Come on, sunrise is over. Time to go back to the real world."
I had completely stopped watching the sunrise during our conversation. Instead, I'd spent all my time looking at the face I dreamt of and wished was near me. I didn't think I'd ever really be able to get him back. But that didn't mean I wasn't gonna try.
Every morning I got up early, got ready, and got myself to the ranch for a sunrise ride. And every morning, I quietly hoped Sam would show. He did. We barely spoke, just rode along…together but apart. That was fine. I'd wait.
I enjoyed this quiet time, and knowing he was sharing it with me, living it right alongside me, somehow acted like a balm across the still-healing wound he’d left on my heart. We'd never get back what we had in those two weeks at the cabin. Honestly, I didn't ever expect that. What I hoped for was something deeper, truer, and more permanent.
We’d gone along like this for a week now. Ushering in a new day before the chaos of the show began. It wasn't any easier working with these guys. They were all spotlight hogs, know-it-alls, prettyboys. They didn't really want to be cowboys. That was the difference between us and