I said, was hanging free, and swaying with his movements as it was close to his knees. I swallowed at the thought as the thing looked more like a truncheon and something to batter you with, than something that would give you pleasure. Of course, having me staring at it didn't help matters, meaning that the hairy demon that held me now brought my head closer to his snarling face and said,
“See anything you like, bitch, for I will make you spin on it!” I frowned and despite his threatening hold, I found myself saying,
“I thought you were jealous a second ago, now you want me to ride the damn thing…jeez, make up your mind!” I knew instantly that this was the wrong thing to say the second it came out of my mouth because his hands around my throat tightened and I was suddenly gasping for breath.
“Oh, she's cute, let her go Bubba and let's play with her, not break her,” the long schlong demon said, coming to my defence. His boyfriend let me go and I fell to my knees coughing and gasping for air.
“See, she's in the right position now,” the blue demon said with his surprisingly high and squeaky voice for such a brute. I quickly gained my feet before giving him any more ideas on how to choke a mortal and his boyfriend chuckled at my quick movements.
“Not so willing now, are you?” he sneered, making me shake my head a little and say,
“I knocked into him by accident, dickhead. What part of that made you think I was coming on to him and wanted to play hide the Pogo stick, huh?” The demon did a double take and I didn't know whether it was the surprise that I was answering back or more about the fact he had no idea what a Pogo stick was. To be honest, I think it was a mixture of both.
Either way the second something penetrated his thick hairy skull, the one named Bubba (which I thought was a fitting name) growled and reacted by lunging for me, making me duck out of the way quickly. However, by doing so I fell into another demon, which in turn made him fall into another demon and so on and so on, until five of them were all piled at the end of the bar covered in whatever ale they were drinking. The music of conversation stopped abruptly, and every demonic head turned my way.
“Okay, well this couldn't have gone any worse…” I said backing away into a corner, and as if the Gods were truly against me, they chose that moment to make things a lot worse. As suddenly the gatekeeper burst through the door, flanked by two guards before all three stormed inside taking all of about two seconds to find me.
“You just had to go and say it didn't you, Fae?” I muttered looking up at the Heavens and wondering if it existed at all or just filled with empty space! I mean hello, were there any Gods up there even paying attention to shit or were the buggers all on vacation?!
The gatekeeper, his guards, and about ten demons I had managed to piss off since being in here, all started to close in around me, making me suddenly bargain with my life in the only way I knew how,
“The Vampire King wants me!” I shouted suddenly, making everyone take pause.
“So, what if he does!”
“Yeah, why would we give a fuck?!” A few more comments were flung my way about not giving a shit and even some that sounded like a cross between a duck and a dog barking.
“He's willing to pay for me, idiots!” I snapped, with a roll of my eyes that really wasn't doing me any favours considering my situation. I received a couple of growls, a few snarls and one weird clucking sound, making me decide it was probably best to rein in on the attitude.
“You have a bounty on your head?” the gatekeeper asked, obviously now very interested in this.
“Yeah and it's a big one but here’s the kicker guys, this Vampire King wants me alive…eeek, sorry guys. I guess if you want the money you have to take me there with all my limbs and toes and everything intact.” I said, emphasising on the ‘everything’ part and motioning up and down my body with my hands, just to make things extra clear.
“Now that makes things interesting, I claim the bounty!” the gatekeeper