stand at the door, trying to decide what to address first. The Christmas tree in my living room when it’s April. The kitten. Or the fact that Cason’s face looks like he took a sledgehammer to it.
Speaking of a sledgehammer, that’s what hits my heart, in a figurative meaning.
I can’t breathe. I open my mouth but no words.
But to my surprise, I start laughing hysterically and crumble to the ground before them.
I break.
Completely, the weight on my shoulders a thousand pounds of bricks. I think it’s because I finally have the closure I need. The final piece of him gone from my life.
Cason immediately scoops me up in his arms, holding me to his chest. I don’t want Tatum to see this, but I can’t stop it from happening either.
Cason’s lips press to my forehead, my cheek, my ear. “Why don’t you go upstairs and take a bath?” His voice is soothing yet urgent. “Relax. I’ll get Tatum to bed.”
I nod, sucking in a deep breath. He lets go of me, and I reach for Tatum, who comes over to me, the kitten behind her, following along.
“Honey.” She sighs, holding my face in her hands. “You okay?”
“I’m gonna take a bath. Will you let Cason put you to bed?”
She nods and drops her hands, reaching for his.
I barely make it to the bathroom before I break down again.
I run the water and sit in the tub with lilac essential oils, filling it with the hottest water I can handle, trying to burn away every last memory of a man who used me and our family until there was nothing left, and then moved on to the next.
For an hour, I stay in that tub, refilling it over and over again to make sure the water stays hot.
My tears haven’t stopped and I don’t even know why I’m crying. Certainly not for him. More like, because of him.
At some point, Cason comes inside the bathroom with a lighter. Slowly, he lights the candles placed around the tub. One by one.
I smile, because it fits what he’s done for Tatum and me.
Day by day, he’s given us the light and laughter we needed.
Without words, he strips down and gets inside the tub behind me. Wrapping his arms around my chest, he holds me tight to him, his mouth on my shoulder, peppering my damp skin with a row of kisses.
And for the next twenty minutes, he listens intently, and I can’t remember the last time a man did that for me since my dad. I tell him about the insurance money and Remi… the conversation I had with her, and how I felt like he took advantage of both of us.
He reserves his judgment for Collin, even though I know if they were face-to-face, he’d want to knock him out. It’s during all this that sometimes it feels like I don’t deserve his presence in my life, but I do. I deserve happiness.
I lick my lips, my mouth dry from dehydration of crying and too much alcohol. You’re probably not surprised to know I took a bottle of wine in here with me.
Heat pulses through my entire body as I bring my lips to Cason’s forearm. Up until now, he hasn’t said much. He’s simply listened to me. I’ve never had a man, aside from my dad, be there for me without intention. And tonight, Cason is added to the roster. He never makes an attempt to do anything more than listen to me.
This guy, the one holding me as though there’s nowhere else he’d rather be, he’s eaten away at me. Nibble here, nibble there, and you know what? I let him because his bite was irresistible. “This looks bad,” I whisper against his forearm draped over my chest, holding me tight. “Here, my husband died two months ago, and now I have this college kid living with me and I’m fucking him.”
Light laughter shakes his chest, his hand rising from the water to rub the soapy sponge he has across the tops of my breasts. “Geez, when you put it like that, it totally sounds like you’re taking advantage of me.”
I laugh out loud, and it feels good.
He pours me another glass of wine and hands it to me. “Here. This will make you feel better.”
Turning my head, I eye him carefully, smiling. “Are you trying to get me drunk so I’ll have sex with you?”
He winks, kissing my nose. “Maybe.”
The weight surfaces again, despite the easiness between us. “I