back to the last year, hell, the last few months leading up to this. “After Tatum was born, things kind of went to shit. I was trying to get my shop up and running and taking care of a newborn. And he took up golf to pass the time. I had to hire a nanny because I couldn’t depend on him or myself in some ways. I’ve always been a shitshow, so while I’d love to say you’re seeing stressed-out Sydney, I’m like this all the time.”
He motions me forward with a slow curl of his finger. “I’ll let you in on a little secret.”
I know you bought out my entire Wilderness collection. Of course I don’t say that because something tells me he doesn’t want me to know. My cheeks raise with a smile. “And that is?”
“I have a bit of a crush on shitshow Sydney. So don’t change anything.”
I sigh. He’s too perfect. “Well, Collin didn’t feel that way. Soon he was working late every night, and we never saw him.” Emotion clogs my throat. “When I told Tatum that he died, she shrugged it off. That’s how often she saw her father.”
Cason listens intently, rubbing circles with his thumb on my hand. A deep breath expands his chest. “I don’t think I’d care if my mom died.”
As much as his admission is shocking, judging by the few instances when he’s mentioned his mother, I’m not all that surprised that he feels that way. “Tell me about your mom.”
His entire face collapses. “There’s not much to tell.”
I sip my wine. “She wasn’t a good one, was she?”
“She wasn’t much of anything.” There’s a slow shake of his head. “Aside from a gold-digging whore.”
I stare at him, not expecting him to talk about his mom that way. “Wow.”
His jaw tightens and he draws in a breath. “Ordinarily, I wouldn’t say those things about my mother.” He snorts, shaking his head. “Seeing you, someone who will do anything to give her daughter the life she deserves, regardless of her circumstances, that’s a mother. Not one who dumps her kid off with a nanny.”
“I had a nanny,” I point out.
“Yeah, but you worked. She didn’t. And I bet you didn’t spread your legs for every man with eight figures in his bank account.”
“Well, no, I didn’t.”
His expression shifts, into disappointment maybe. “I can still remember the look at my dad’s face when he realized that half his team had been with his wife at one point over his career. It’s not something you forget.”
Jesus Christ. “How’d you have a mom like that and turn out like you did?”
He stares at me intently, as if he’s trying to convince me of something, and then hits me with it. “Because I had an amazing dad. The right parent can make up for another.”
I watch Tatum dancing around to the music of Frozen. He’s right. He’s absolutely right. I might not be the best mom and am basically winging this single-parent shit at the moment, but I think I’m exactly what Tatum needs.
“You leave tomorrow for California, right?”
He nods, chewing on another jelly bean. “You gonna miss me?”
“I am,” I admit before I can stop myself. “You’re not the only one with a crush.”
“I knew you liked me.” He licks his lips slowly. “And you look like you could use a good fucking to take your mind off things,” he whispers, his voice low and gravelly.
A tingle, a reminder of this morning on the island hits me right between my legs. “Again?”
With Tatum distracted, he kisses the spot below my ear. “You’re fucking an athlete now, babe. We have excellent stamina.”
There’s certainly truth to his words. “We have to wait for Tatum to go to bed. She can’t know that we’re… you know.”
Pulling away, he smiles and winks. “I’m really good with kids.” Crawling on the floor on all fours, he approaches Tatum from behind and grabs her into a hug, growling at her.
Her laughter cackles through the house, and so begins them chasing one another. I adore his gentleness with her and the way she begs him, “Chase me, boy!” and takes off running the other direction.
As I sit there, I think to myself, where’d he come from? How’d he find his way into our lives and became the distraction we both needed?
SHORTLY AFTER EIGHT, Tatum has fallen asleep on Cason. I take her upstairs and to bed, where she wakes up, wants a story, and then another.
Laying on her bed with her,