Rock Me Faster (Licks of Leather #4) - Jenna Jacob Page 0,71
closed my eyes and dragged in a ragged breath.
One day at a time.
I’m in charge of my life story.
Repeating the affirmations that got me through the first few days in rehab, I released the doorknob and took a step back. I wasn’t going to blow my sobriety over Harmony’s lie.
But rage was blistering me alive.
With a feral roar, I bent and hoisted the heavy loveseat beside me over my head, then heaved it across the room. I watched it sail through the air and crash into the big mirror on the other wall, shattering like my life had that horrible night when I’d lost it all.
I stared at the shimmering fragments littering the floor with the same eyes I’d helplessly watched the life slide from her body with. The room melted away as memories charged my brain, making me relive the helpless heartbreak, horror, and guilt.
I’m sorry. The last words she’d whispered wended through me like smoke-wrapped razor blades, slicing me to shreds as they blew past.
Tears slid down my cheeks.
A mournful howl tore from the back of my throat and I crumpled to the floor, unable to support myself beneath the weight of sorrow and shame.
The door flew open and Burk darted inside. I didn’t try to hide my tears or mask my pain, I simply looked up at him and whispered, “I need a line.”
Swallowing tightly, Burk dropped to the floor beside me and slung his arm over my shoulder. “I’ll get you a line, brother…a lifeline. Hang tight.”
Burk pulled his cell out and started scrolling through his contacts as I wiped my tears and struggled to pull myself together. After tapping the screen, he held the device to his ear. “Paul, it’s Burk.” The singer paused for a couple seconds. “Not good. Here he is. Work your magic, man. Work it hard.”
He handed me his phone and clasped his hand around mine. “You’ve got this, brother. I have faith in you. Climb back on top of it. You control it; it doesn’t control you. Got it?”
“Yeah.” I nodded grimly.
“I’ll be back in a few.”
As he headed toward the door, I called out to him. “Tell her I’m sorry.”
“Tell her yourself, fucker.” He winked and left the room.
“Sorry to bother you,” I said into the phone and cracked a smile when my longtime sponsor, Paul, started cussing me out—like the sailor he once was—for apologizing.
When he was through chewing me out, I spilled my guts. Told him about Angie finding a boyfriend. About Harmony joining the tour and how the innocent beauty flipped every fucking switch in my system. About shutting Sylvia out of my life and hiring Bernie. And how I stupidly let Harmony inside my walls only to have her lie to me.
“I don’t believe my luck. The first fucking woman I let get close to me in all these years, and she’s another fucking liar.”
“First of all, did Harmony actually lie or did she just not tell you everything you thought you deserved to hear?” Paul asked.
“Semantics, man. Omission of facts is the same as lying.”
“Not necessarily. After you blew a gasket about her being your fake girlfriend, she was probably scared shitless to tell you the rest.”
“Maybe I should quit. It’s the only way to keep Quinn from sticking his damn nose in my business.”
“Oh, so you’re just going to let him win, huh?” Paul scoffed.
I knew he was only giving me a much-needed dose of tough love, but the cocksucker was pissing me off.
“You do realize Quinn’s the one who set you up, right?” Paul chided. “Harmony is nothing but a pawn in his game. Yet you’re blaming her for the lie.”
“She didn’t have to lie for him.”
“Sure she did. He’s the fucker signing her paycheck?”
“I offered her double to walk the fuck away.”
“You should have offered her double to do what she’s doing.”
“What? Pissing me off?”
“No. Making you finally feel something, asshole.”
I loved the man for making me own my shit and at the same time, hated him for it.
“I think your girl never wanted to lie to you from the get-go. And the only reason you thought about throwing your sobriety out the window when the truth came out is because you’re already a little bit in love with her. Which, I’m sure, royally fucks you up since you now think she’s playing you exactly like Lil—”
“Don’t say her name,” I growled.
“I’ll fucking say her name any goddamn time I want to. Lily. Lily. Lily. There. And here’s a newsflash for