Rock Me Faster (Licks of Leather #4) - Jenna Jacob Page 0,70
rest of your life, and maybe even quit the band.”
Ross reared back, then clenched his jaw as if preparing himself for the worst.
He was definitely going to hate me, all right. Sending up a mess of prayers all at once, I asked Athena for the courage to confess the truth, Demeter to help soften the blow of my deception, and begged Hestia for Ross to somehow forgive me.
Okay, so Hestia would probably roll her eyes and turn away, since I was responsible for mucking up the universe to begin with. But I wasn’t above begging the powers of every deity in my arsenal to ensure Ross didn’t quit the band.
The hope of saving my family or finding redemption for myself was gone, and there was only myself to blame. I’d made the wrong choices, pretended to be someone I wasn’t, and tried to bend the laws to suit my needs—knowing full well those walls were the pillars of tranquility. It was time for me to atone for my sins, and I was ready to accept whatever punishment the goddesses deemed I’d earned.
“Why in the fuck would I hate you or quit the band?”
“Because I lied to you.”
“About?”
“I wasn’t hired to play your pretend girlfriend. At least not at first.”
Confusion wrinkled his brow while questions swirled in his narrowed eyes.
“What were you initially hired to do?”
A million ugly emotions wrapped their icy hands around my throat and squeezed.
“To replace the darkness inside you with light and love. To open your heart and bring happiness and balance to your soul again.”
Ross cocked his head and stared at me as if I were a ghostly apparition his mind couldn’t accept. My heart thundered in my chest, pulverizing the glorious strides I’d made with him these past two days.
His silence was deafening.
The flare of his nostrils and the muscles ticking in his jaw sent claws of dread scaling my body. It didn’t seem possible that a few hours ago he’d dissolved me beneath an onslaught of pleasure. Now, I was dissolving beneath an onslaught of shame.
“You lied to me. Lied to the man you were hired to help. I suppose there’s some crystal in your purse that makes that okay.”
I shook my head.
“What is it with you women? Is lying a part of your genetic code? Is it threaded through your DNA or something? Or is it a skillset you learn? Tell me, at what age do mothers pull their girls aside and teach them how to lie and betray men? Is it a contest? Do girls earn badges and trophies and shit for whoever tells a man the biggest lie?” Ross was screaming so loudly that my bones vibrated. The sizzling-hot waves of rage pouring off him were singeing my skin. “Let me fill you in on a little secret, princess. Your pussy and tits are for fucking, not for fucking men over.”
He shifted a furious glare toward the door and whispered, “Get out.”
“Ross, please. Let me explain.”
“Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. My. Sight. Now!” he roared.
Chapter Fifteen
Ross
The tears in Harmony’s eyes as she turned and raced from my dressing room barely registered in my brain. I was completely consumed by the molten rage I hadn’t let take control over me in over four miserable years laying waste to every shred of humanity in my system.
Please, Ross. Let me explain.
Please, Ross. Let me explain.
Those same five words, though uttered by another woman—the ghost still haunting me relentlessly—sliced open the arteries of my mind, heart, body, and soul.
Gnashing my teeth together, I let out a feral roar.
Pacing the room, I tried to outrun the horrific memories spewing like a geyser and thundering through me with a pain so relentless and ruthless I could barely breathe.
Unable to harness my panic, guilt, and rage, I raced to the door and gripped the handle. I knew beyond the portal there was a woman all too eager to be used and tossed away, who had a little bag of magic powder, tucked in her bra or purse, that could take these brutal memories away.
All I had to do was open the door and tell her to bring in the candy.
Saliva pooled in my mouth.
My heart skipped a terrified staccato against my ribs.
Ignoring the anxiety rolling up my body, my fingers flexed for a fix.
Desire dripped sweat down my face, and hunger hummed in my limbs.
As the straitjacket of pain cinched tighter around me, the temptation to float away grew more appealing.