wouldn’t make a big deal out of it—and I won’t—it does make me wonder about something I’ve always wanted to ask him about.
Zaid and I have come a long way in our relationship. There is a level of trust and care, although I might have dinged it up a bit when I tied him up today, but I know he’s still my friend and I’m his.
This is something I do feel comfortable in asking. “Have you ever thought about reaching out to your mom? Her name is Mala, right?”
Zaid knows Carrick told me all about his past, and Zaid and I even talked about it in general several times, especially during our time together when Carrick had been missing because of Rune.
But we never talked about his mother. When Zaid grew up to follow in Boral’s evil footsteps, she managed to escape and has supposedly been living in Faere ever since.
Zaid stiffens slightly at my question. Without looking up from the chicken, he shakes his head. “No. I’ve not seen her since she left for Faere.”
“Why not go there and seek her out?” I inquire.
“Daemons aren’t welcome in Faere,” he replies flatly.
“You know Carrick would get safe passage for you there,” I counter. “At the very least, he could go get your mother and bring her to you.”
“Not a good idea,” Zaid mutters, picking up the seasoned chicken and moving to the back counter so I now have his back. It’s a clear indication he doesn’t want to talk about it.
“Why isn’t it a good idea?” I press. “I bet she’d love to reconnect with you.”
Zaid turns slowly around to face me, his expression filled with pain. “She’s ashamed of me, Finley. She witnessed me do acts of brutality that were so horrific she grew to hate me the way she hated my father. She’d never forgive the things I’ve done, and there’s no reason for me to reach out to her.”
“And yet, you’re in the process of opening yourself up to your father.” I lean forward on the counter. “There is hope for everyone, Zaid. And I think you’ve become someone your mother would be incredibly proud of.”
“Why?” Zaid says on a bitter laugh. “Because I’ve done a few good deeds? Because my aura’s lightened up a bit? I made a conscious choice to abandon those qualities I got from my mother, and I chose to follow in my father’s evil footsteps. If I ever die, Finley, my soul is destined for the Underworld.”
I shake my head, glaring at him fiercely. “You’re wrong. You’ve redeemed yourself.”
“Think what you want,” he says dismissively, then turns his back on me.
“And you didn’t abandon the qualities your mother gave you,” I remind him quietly. He doesn’t respond or even act like he heard me, but I know he’s listening. “You are an empath just like her. You have empathy, which never went away. And while you may have done horrible things, it was your empathy that ultimately proved to be the biggest part of you. Otherwise, you would have never staked yourself to a tree. That actually makes you more like your mother than your father. If you can find it in your heart to consider a relationship with Boral, then I know damn well your empath Light Fae mother will do the same.”
I expect him to ignore me.
Or maybe even yell at me to leave him alone.
Instead, he sighs. “You might be right.”
I wait for more, but nothing comes. He picks up a towel, covers the bowl of chicken, and walks out of the kitchen without a backward glance.
A smile comes to my face. I actually consider that a victory… the fact that Zaid is actually thinking about what I said about his mother is enough to make my meddlesome self happy. If we survive this battle against Kymaris, I am going to keep pressing him to see his mother. One day, I know he’ll thank me for it.
CHAPTER 23
Carrick
“You know this is a waste of time,” Deandra told Carrick as they materialized inside the castle walls. As a guest of the princess, Carrick didn’t need to knock on the massive front doors and be allowed entrance by Rebsha.
“Maybe so,” Carrick rumbled as they walked the halls to locate Nimeyah. “But I have to try.”
Deandra didn’t respond, which prompted Carrick to add, “I am very grateful you are going to help us.”
It was a careless shrug he got in response. “I have a vested interest now in protecting my new home,