voice was achingly small. But her heart was the size of a galleon. “I don’t want to look back in twenty years and have this moment be one of my what-ifs, one of my do-overs. I love you, Mason.”
She put her hand to her mouth. She hadn’t meant to tell him. But like so much that was in her head, it just fell out of her mouth.
“Fuck me.” He threw back the covers and clambered out of bed to stand with his back to her. The expanse of tan skin and the tattoo on his back—a stylized Celtic cross—looked a mile wide.
He’d only moved three feet away, but it felt more like three hundred yards. A chill replaced the space where his big body had been next to her in bed. She shivered and pulled the sheet over her breasts.
“I know you care about me too,” she insisted. “If you’d give me time to show you how—”
“Fuck!” He swung around. His haunted expression cut off her words. “I told you this would happen. I said good sex can—”
“I loved you before we had sex, you big idiot.” Her heart hammered so hard her ribs ached. “Why do you think I kept insisting you be the one to take my virginity?”
“No.” He shook his head. “You just think it’s love because you’re innocent and inexperienced and—”
“Don’t.” She pointed at him. It was a good thing she excelled at self-control, or her right fist might have found a home in his left eye socket. “Don’t belittle me or what I feel just because I was a virgin until twelve hours ago. I love you, Mason. It’s not puppy love or lust masquerading as love. It’s love. And if you don’t love me back because…” She shook her head and left the sentence unfinished before adding, “Well, that’s one thing. But don’t for one minute think I’m going to—”
“What I feel or don’t feel for you doesn’t have anything to do with you, Alex.” His chin was tipped down, and his voice was so low she had to strain to hear him.
Her brain turned over his words and then ground to a halt. “How can what you feel for me have nothing to do with me? That doesn’t make a damn bit of sense.”
“It does when you realize there’s something wrong with me,” he said stiffly.
She eyed his naked form. All that tough skin and dark hair. Those thick muscles. The mesmerizing blue of his eyes that suddenly reminded her of icicles. He’d donned his mask, and it was impossible to read what was in his head.
“I don’t see a thing wrong with you,” she told him quietly, her anger morphing into compassion.
“That’s ’cause you don’t know me.” He looked around like he was fighting to find the right words. “I’ll never be the kinda man who can take his kids to Disney. When I’m in a crowd, I check everyone’s hands for weapons and watch their eyes for ill intent. When I’m standing in line for coffee, I turn sideways so I can see who’s coming through the door. I can’t even take a leisurely sail without some shady motherfuckers coming along and trying to kill me.”
His expression turned pleading. “Dontcha see? I’m not normal. Maybe I never was, but if I was, then the navy sucked it out of me. Sarah saw it happen. Saw me change from someone who coulda had a regular life into someone who…” He swallowed. “I can’t be what you want me to be. What you need me to be.”
She opened her mouth to argue, but before she could get out a word, a loud bang echoed up through the floorboards. It was followed by the sound of Meat barking his fool head off.
“What the fuck?” Mason’s brow wrinkled.
He immediately swiped his swim trunks off the floor, reminding Alex of how she’d tugged them off him and tossed them over her shoulder two hours earlier.
Pressing a hand to the tape surrounding his bandage—some of it had come loose during the Fantastic Elevator position—he stomped over to the dresser and picked up his walkie-talkie. His face immediately blanched of color.
“What is it?” A sick feeling landed in the bottom of Alex’s stomach.
“Dunno,” he gritted between his teeth. “It’s dead. Fucking piece of nonmilitary-grade shit.”
He bent to grab his Colt. But before he could lay a hand on it, the door opened a fraction and a short black tube appeared in the breach.
For a full two seconds, Alex’s