soulless, Lena. Not endless. Once the soul left within is consumed, they cease to exist. Joshua’s soul isn’t salvageable. He remained hidden for too long, and the fury inside of him has fed well. Once it’s gone, you’ll lose him forever.”
Chapter Forty
And then peace came, and the world was right if even for only a moment in time. ~Lena
When Lucian said my family was waiting for me below, I thought he was talking about the castle, but he was talking about Club Chaos. He explained that the doors leading inside were a gateway and that the club was actually in his world, which explains why I have always felt at home here.
Peeking out of Lucian’s office, I saw my family speaking with Synthia and Ryder below. It didn’t take much to figure out what, or whom, was the topic of their conversation.
My mother’s shoulders shook, as did her dark blonde hair. Synthia was offering her comfort. But I knew they were discussing Alden, and that the silver lining of that situation was that he was still alive.
“Do you think Alden can be saved?” I asked, turning to look at Lucian, where he sat with Benjamin cradled in his arms.
I still didn’t believe that this was real. The man I loved was holding our son, and nothing had gone wrong yet. I guess when you expected chaos around every corner; it was hard to believe what was real and what wasn’t anymore.
I’d been through so much in such a little amount of time that everything seemed amiss, even though it was right.
“Maybe we should wait to introduce Benjamin to anyone.” Panic rushed through me as I wrung my hands in front of my dark blue eyelet dress.
“You remember the last time you wore that outfit?” he asked, ignoring my question.
“It was when I came here to apologize for accusing you of murdering a poor woman,” I snorted. “A woman that you actually did murder, I might add.”
“I did, but she’d murdered her husband and her children. She’d asked me for a favor, and I had granted it. Her request was to go unpunished for her crimes. I accepted it but chose to collect that payment instantly.”
“Did you know what she’d done?” I countered, narrowing my eyes on him as my heels clicked over the newly tiled floor.
I’d been told that this flooring choice was because it would be easier to clean after one of our fights. Apparently, carpets had been too difficult for Lucian’s men to pick out pieces of glass and other items spilled. I twirled my hair, smirking as Lucian glanced at me with a needy, predatory gaze.
He nodded slowly, sliding his hungry stare down my body. “I always know, but back to the dress. I wished for nothing more than to remove it and bend you over my desk. I had never been more aroused or hard in my entire existence. I wanted to hear your sweet screams and feel your pussy clamping down on my cock while you yelled my name to your fucking gods.”
“Innocent ears.”
“He’s in stasis and doesn’t understand a single word we’re saying. I could set Benjamin down and make that dress go away,” he offered.
I snorted, turning to look at the picture that adorned his wall. It was of me, holding Benjamin in my arms, smiling as I kissed his soft black curls atop his perfect head. No longer did I see the woman he’d once obsessed about covering his walls. They were now decorated with images of the three of us, and that hit me harder than I’d expected. I turned, studying the way Lucian observed me.
“It was always you,” he said softly, as if he’d just had an epiphany. “I couldn’t figure out what it was about Katarina that I thought I loved. I know now that I didn’t love her. I fell for the soul that would be born from hers: you, Lena. I fell for you before you were ever real. Your eyes are hers, and yet I never believed them to be pretty until they were yours. Your hair is the same color with a few different shades added as a highlight, but on you, it’s more. And your soul isn’t hers. It is yours, and yet it was created from her. I never loved Katarina. I loved the soul she would eventually create.”
“You’re not making any sense,” I returned, canting my head to peer at him.
“I can meet a soul centuries before the final one is cemented.