me how badly I’d failed her by allowing Rob to stay in our lives. She deserved better. She deserved a dad like you,” Ronnie said simply and a lump formed in my throat, forcing me to clear it to speak.
“I would do anything for that little girl,” I replied finally, unable to say anything else.
She smiled sadly. “I know that too, and I wish things were different.” Her eyes swept the room, pausing on the guards standing alertly at each entrance and exit. “She asks about you, you know.” My head bobbed awkwardly, somewhere between a nod and a shake, as she slid a folded piece of paper across the table to me. “She asked me to give this to you.” I accepted the thick piece of pink construction paper, but didn’t unfold it, not sure I could look at it with her sitting there. “Loving you was the easiest thing I ever did, and telling you goodbye…it might be the hardest. I need to focus on Kara, teach her it’s okay to be strong and independent, and not to wait around on a guy that might not come home.”
My brow furrowed as I glanced down, the pink paper incongruous between my scarred fingers, the metal handcuffs a stark reminder of my own mistakes. “I’m sorry too, Ronnie. I made a decision without asking you. I chose to take the fall and leave you behind. I don’t blame you for being upset with me.”
One of her hands covered mine, her thumb gently stroking my split knuckles. “We were always just a little too late, weren’t we?” A rough sound escaped me and her lips curled in a bittersweet smile. “Star-crossed, I guess.” She pulled her hand away and I curled my fingers in so I wouldn’t reach for her. “I won’t wait on you,” she warned unnecessarily. “You shouldn’t either.”
One cheek creased as I said, “Good to know. One of the guys in cell block C has been eyeing me. I guess now is his chance.”
“Clutch,” she scolded, her voice fading as I lost my smile.
“I won’t wait,” I lied to her and she gave me a jerky nod. “But if you,” I stopped mid-sentence, correcting myself, “If Kara ever needs anything, anything at all, I’ll be there. For her.”
“Of course,” she replied, nodding rapidly. “Of course.”
A loud tone repeated three times, signaling that visiting hour was over and Ronnie shuddered. “You get used to it,” I told her and when her eyes met mine, I realized how stupid the words were. “Not that you need to get used to it,” I added, more for my benefit than hers. “It was good to see you, Ronnie.” I stood up, tucking the soft, pink paper against my side as I left her sitting there, staring after me, and when the door lock buzzed, I walked through and I didn’t look back.
A car passing jerked me out of the memory and my gaze slid to the seat where a faded pink piece of paper sat, unfolded to reveal two stick figures standing side by side, one a giant with dark brown crayon scribbled over his face and the other holding a teddy bear, the words Clutch and Kara written in childish scrawl inside of a lopsided heart.
Another glance at the house and I shifted into gear, checking the mirror as I made a quick U-turn on the quiet street. There was nothing left here for me, not anymore.
Chapter Four
Clutch
“Right or left?” The question caught me off guard and I shot the female doctor a mystified look. She glanced down pointedly, one eyebrow arched expressively, since half her face was covered by a surgical mask. “Right cheek or left cheek,” she elaborated, an enormous needle poised between her fingers. I eyed it warily, then met her unflinching gaze.
“Left,” I replied shortly, not looking forward to having the huge needle she held jammed in my ass. The small exam room was utilitarian, the walls half glass, affording zero privacy as I leaned over the exam table. She tugged down the waistband of my prison issue sweats, and I flinched when something cold and wet swiped over my bare cheek.
“Big pinch,” she said cheerily as she proceeded to stab me in the ass with what felt like a fireplace poker. I gritted my teeth, not uttering a sound as a burning sensation radiated from the injection. Finally, after the longest minute of my life, she yanked the needle out and I let out a sigh