up next to the garage. Kara had just been learning to peddle on a tricycle when I’d left.
I swallowed back my emotions, pressing my fingers hard against my eyes. It wasn’t that I missed Ronnie. I’d accepted her decision. Hell, I could even understand it, but letting go of the brief moment in time when it had felt like all my dreams had come true, that felt damn near impossible. For a little while, I’d had the life I’d dreamed of – the house, the woman I’d loved, and the kid – at least until it had all gone to hell and I’d had no one to blame but myself.
Buzz. The irritatingly harsh sound accompanied the clang of the gate when it opened and I shuffled forward, shackles on my hands and feet, as I entered the visiting area. My gaze swept the room, expecting to see Creed or Cord, and I blinked when I saw her sitting at one of the long tables, her hair swept back in a low ponytail – her version of low key casual. Something tightened in my chest, longing twisted by the realization that I’d lost my chance with her, and I stopped moving, about to turn back around, until her head came up. I knew the moment she saw me because her mouth twisted in a half-hearted smile, and even as reluctant as it was, it was still the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
I forced myself to move forward, unwilling to turn tail and run now that she’d seen me, even though I knew her being here meant nothing good. I settled on the bench in front of her and she ducked her head, but with her hair pulled back she couldn’t hide.
“Ronnie,” I murmured and saw her chest rise and fall as she took a deep breath.
“Clutch,” she answered, her voice husky. She peered up through a thick fringe of lashes, her fingers knotted together, and I waited, not sure why she was here. It seemed like she’d said everything that needed to be said at my sentencing. Her lips pressed together until they turned white and I leaned back with a sigh.
“Why are you here, Ronnie?” The question came out harsher than I intended and she flinched, but I couldn’t bring myself to apologize.
She licked her lips, not meeting my eyes. “You don’t have a beard.”
I stifled the urge to rub my chin, keeping my hands in clear sight on the table. “That’s why you came? To comment on my facial hair?”
Her gaze came to mine, a familiar fire in them, but it disappeared almost instantly. “It looks good,” she answered hesitantly.
“Thanks,” I replied grudgingly. Silence settled over us and I found myself looking at the clock, watching the seconds tick by, but unable to get up and leave, not until I knew why she’d come.
“I’m sorry.” The whispered apology was almost inaudible with all the other conversations going on but I still heard her. Her hands came and hovered over mine, before she thought better of it and drew them back. “I…..” A glossy sheen coated her eyes, but she blinked back any hint of tears. “I regret the way I treated you. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life.” She swallowed. “Things I wish I could change but the one thing I would never change is Kara.”
“I know how much you love her,” I replied, not sure where the conversation was headed. “She’s a special little girl.”
Ronnie nodded, an involuntary smile crossing her face. “She is and she has always adored you. It’s why I broke it off when I knew how long you were going to be gone.”
“I understood that, Ronnie. I don’t blame you.”
“I know you don’t.” She smiled ruefully. “You are the most understanding guy in the world. I know I didn’t deserve you, but Kara did.” A protest welled in my throat and she shook her head. “Let me finish,” she pleaded and I swallowed down what I was about to say. “I did you wrong, Clutch. I know that. Hell, everyone knows that. I wish I’d given you a chance sooner. I wish I’d known you were the reason I was able to get the salon. I wish…,” She closed her eyes and exhaled. “I wish a lot of things that I can’t go back and change. But I can still do right by Kara. I can be the mom she deserves. Seeing you with her, it really brought home to