real.
“I’m not interested in beefing with you,” he said, pulling me from my musings. “And maybe there wouldn’t be any hard feelings on your end, you’d “deal”, whatever… I’m not interested in that.”
“What are you interested in?”
“The same thing I’ve been interested in. Since that first night at Urban Grind.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Okay… and what’s that?”
“You,” he answered, simply. “There’s something here, waiting for us to dig in and discover it. I’m drawn to you, like a fucking magnet. And I know exactly how corny and cliché that sounds, but whatever, I’ll take it. I’ll be that. But I’ll also be all up in your face, until you convince me otherwise,” he chuckled, slipping his arms around me to pull me into his body.
I didn’t resist it.
Didn’t want to resist it.
For as much as my feelings had been hurt, as angry as I’d been… I knew it was probably time to let it go. I had no reason to not take him at his word, to give him the chance to prove he really understood what the problem was, and act accordingly.
I wasn’t exact, quite, all the way ready for that.
“I hope you talked to her. Cause I’ma hurt her feelings if I do it.”
“Maybe more than her feelings – you know the only reason she didn’t press charges is because none of us saw anything, right?”
I laughed. “At least four of you saw everything.”
“Nah, nobody saw it,” he said, shrugging, and this time… I caught what he was saying. “But anyway…yeah, I talked to her. And she wasn’t happy about it, but whatever. Exchanging ink work for loc retwists wasn’t really a fair trade anyway.”
“No, it wasn’t,” I agreed, with a deep sigh that shifted the air between us again.
Now I was ready to move on.
“I need to get in the shower, and get to bed. You joining me?”
I bit down on my lip, considering his offer.
It had been like two weeks since he’d finally given up the draws, and the memory of it was imprinted in my mind.
Vividly.
And he certainly was making it sound very appealing, with his hands at my waist drawing me toward him, but…
“I think I need a few minutes. So I’m gonna pass,” I told him.
He nodded. “Okay. We’re good?”
“We’re good.”
We were.
Really.
He showed me to his room and then disappeared into the attached bathroom – a few seconds later, I heard the shower come on.
It wasn’t until then that I could really… breathe.
Hours ago, I’d been snatched from sleep by the awareness that something was wrong, and I’d been on a rollercoaster since then. The heightened adrenaline, the anger, and now the confusing ass feelings Tristan brought up…
I needed some quiet.
So I took it.
Not thinking about the overwhelming flow of emotion it would bring about.
One moment I was seated on the edge of Tristan’s bed, almost too distracted for further musings about it being my first time seeing it. The next, my chest was heaving, cheeks burning as I dropped my face into my hands, breaking into unexpected sobs.
Tears I’d been fighting for a long ass time.
Reinvention was hard.
It was hard, and confusing, and frustrating, and… painful.
Yes, it was also gratifying, and enlightening, and wonderful, but when it was mixed up with everything else, it all felt like too much.
This was too much.
I couldn’t keep fighting it.
So I cried, until my throat was aching and my eyes stung and my head was throbbing, but the tears kept coming and coming – I couldn’t stop.
Then Tristan’s arms were around me.
I wasn’t expecting it, and didn’t know I needed it until it was happening, but I was so fucking grateful. He was something tangible I could tether myself to, sinking against his shirtless, still-damp chest to calm myself.
He said… nothing.
Which was exactly what I needed.
Just the silence, the warmth of his body, the comfort of his arms, the soothing familiarity of his scent, his presence… just him.
It felt like a long time before I was able to calm myself enough to lift my head, dragging my puffy eyes open to look Tristan in the face.
“Tell me what’s going on?” he said, posing it as a question even though it was clearly an imperative.
I shook my head. “It’s just… a lot.”
“Because of me. And the break in?”
“Some of both. Plus some other stuff.”
“Stuff like…?” he cupped my face in his hands, wiping my cheeks dry with his thumbs before coaxing my gaze to his. “I know you’re my mystery woman, but you don’t have to keep