pure erotic beauty of Nora Stewart mid-release had been ingrained in my brain three times over.
When I woke up the next morning, my perfect fantasy mirage had vanished. The loss was staggering, but I couldn’t help but smile when I saw our ten-dollar bill on the nightstand, a handwritten note tucked beneath it.
Cam,
I couldn’t bring myself to wake you up. You looked so peaceful and happy, like a weirdo smiling in your sleep. I’ll take that memory with me instead of a long, drawn-out goodbye. I would have cried, and then you would have said all the right things, making it even harder for me to go. But know this: There aren’t enough words to adequately express the gift you gave me last night. The hope. The unconditional love. The understanding that, while now is not our time, there might a future where one day the two of us find ourselves on the banks of our creek again, this time with free minds, whole hearts, and a lifetime to share.
Until then, wherever you go and whatever you do, I love you.
Always,
Nora
P.S. Alberton cabbies are brutal. They quoted me fifty bucks over the phone to get back to my car at the church.
P.P.S. My dress was still wet, so I stole your sweats. I don’t feel the slightest bit sorry. I’ll put them to good use. I promise.
P.P.P.S. I may not go to fancy Columbia, but after several college English courses, I can definitively say this is the correct way to the do the P.S. thing. More P’s and less S’s.
P.P.P.P.S. I’d rather be there with you.
Trying to reclaim your life is a lot like cleaning a house. You can work your ass off sweeping down the cobwebs and taking out the trash, but there is always a closet to be organized or a baseboard to scrub. And just when you think you’ve finished everything, it’s time to start all over again because, while you were distracted in one room, life happened in another.
But every day when I woke up and climbed out of bed, I told myself I was getting closer and closer to the woman I wanted to be. It helped a lot knowing that the people around me were thriving too.
Joe and his wife, Misty, were happier than ever, and because of Misty, I’d inherited a kinda-sorta stepsister, Tiffany. She was funny and always had the best fashion advice. Which, after years of forcing Thea into dresses and heels, was a nice change of pace.
Thea’s online travel agency had taken off, bringing in more money for her to squirrel away for the future. I didn’t have to read between the lines to know she wanted that future to be with Ramsey, even if they were virtually strangers now.
Ramsey was doing well-ish too. Or at least as well as possible when incarcerated. He had fallen in love with his career: working in the barbershop in prison. He and Joe had never been close before he’d been arrested, but it made me giggle that my brother had somehow managed to follow in his footsteps.
Work was amazing. Stressful and exhausting, but no less incredible. I adored being a teacher. Seeing their little faces light up every morning made me feel like I’d finally found my purpose in life. I hadn’t had the best childhood, but I was bound and determined not to let any of those kids fall through the cracks the way Ramsey and I had.
So I did something about it.
First Step was an after-school program to keep kids engaged and surrounded by positive role models. It was a slow start, but after almost a year of paperwork and applications, I managed to secure county grants and funds to make it free for anyone who needed it.
My next major project for the school district was a brown bag lunch program. The majority of students in Clovert qualified for free lunches during the school year, but I knew all too well how long the summers could be with an empty fridge and a bare pantry. I developed a plan to set up brown bag lunch stations around town for students to pick up healthy, balanced meals over the months when school wasn’t in session. However, it was an expensive endeavor, and I was denied city, county, and state aid at every turn. Eventually, with Thea’s help, I started a fundraiser and took it to social media.
For as much evil that existed in our world, it was shocking how quickly we met