things now, without thinking of him.
“Why did he leave?” he asked. “Is it because you didn’t win the cup?”
She wished that were true. Then she wouldn’t have died a little inside hearing the awful details of his past. She wouldn’t have had to watch him walk away. That was something she might never recover from.
She shook her head, willing away the tears threatening to fall. She didn’t want to cry in front of her father. She was already too vulnerable right now. “Because I didn’t give him a reason to stay.”
When push came to shove, she couldn’t be what he’d needed. She’d let her fears push him away. And she might never get him back.
She had walked into this situation with her eyes wide open. She’d known the end game might very well strain their relationship, but she had no idea that it would break her heart.
“It’s just not meant to be, Dad. Regardless of what I want.”
Her father pulled away, straightening his shoulders, looking down at her with conviction. “If there’s one thing I taught you, young lady, it’s never to give up. To fight for what you want.”
Too bad she’d forgotten that when it mattered most.
“If this boy makes you happy, if he’s what you want, then you fight for him.” He hugged her into his side. “If you love someone, don’t be a schmuck like me. Say it. Prove it. Life is too short to waste assuming the world is right, when it’s so very wrong.”
The more time she’d spent with Cole, the harder it became to keep her emotions out of the game. She’d spent her entire life being smart. Made every decision with her head, not her heart or libido. But Cole Murphy scrambled her brain, leaving it useless and ineffective.
No matter how much she might have wanted this week in paradise to change the game between them, it had backfired. He had finally trusted her enough to break down the steel and cement he’d erected around his heart. And she’d been the one who’d forced him to put it back up.
“Thanks, Dad.”
He kissed her forehead and got up. “Are you going to be all right?”
She would be. Eventually.
Cole wasn’t ready. For her. For a life filled with love. He might never be ready.
She knew nothing in his history could be bad enough to scare her away. Even the parts she didn’t know yet. But even if her gut told her she was willing to fight for him, for his past, for their future, she couldn’t do that with a man who wouldn’t let her in.
Chapter Sixteen
As soon as the plane touched down, Cole ran full speed ahead with the club, working directly with their investors and volunteers. A job he usually reserved for Penn. Never in a million years would he have thought he’d become the social butterfly in the family. But something had changed in him. And he knew it had everything to do with her.
Penn.
He loved her. With every fiber of his being. And he’d left her in Hawaii. Left without a word, without a good-bye. He just hadn’t known how to give his heart away. He still didn’t. For so long, he’d held it tight, kept it locked up, offering his love to only two women in his life—his biological mother, who’d broken it with her skewed priorities, and Vivian, who had held it so sacred, but had left this world so quickly she’d taken a piece of it with her.
For so long he’d walked around with a dark cloud, unable to shake it. It seeped into his being, into his very soul. But it was Penn that brought him peace. She tuned out the world around him and brought everything into perspective. Because she was so daring, carefree, and light. The exact opposite of his moody brooding. She made him lighter simply by being near him.
Although he’d made a good effort to keep his darkness in check in Hawaii, the moment things got tough, he’d floundered and lost his way. He’d let it take over. Because that’s how it would always be.
How could he possibly subject Penn to that kind of future?
Walking away had made it easier on both of them. She didn’t have to choose, and he didn’t have to find out what that choice might be.
Like a coward, he steered clear of his restaurant this morning, knowing Penn would be back to work. She knew his deepest, darkest, most haunting secrets, and he just wasn’t ready to face