a bowl. “You never call just to shoot the shit. It’s always with a purpose.”
She was right. She knew him too well. Which was one of the reasons she had been on the top of his list of people to call. He could have called Finn. But this time, he needed a woman’s opinion.
He was feeling things he’d never thought he’d feel. And he was confused as hell. Even thinking about making things with Penn more than a fling was a disaster waiting to happen. And what happened when they went public? Too much attention meant too many people wanting to know more about him. He couldn’t risk his past being exposed. He couldn’t risk her finding out his first experience with sex had been hearing his mother with her tricks.
These feelings had to remain in Hawaii. It was the only way to keep his past buried.
“You want to tell me something?” Veronica asked. He heard a rumpled thud. Maybe the positioning of a pillow. “Where’s Penn?”
“She’s lying down.”
Recovering from the massive orgasm he’d just given her. He hadn’t meant to take their shower to sexy town. He’d started off wanting to take care of her, to pamper her.
True, eating her out wasn’t exactly the care he’d planned on giving her. But it had worked out for everyone, hadn’t it?
“I think… I think I’m going to tell her.”
Penn wanted him to open up. But the thought of spilling his guts, telling her about all the crap from his past, made him nauseous.
Which was why he was now on the phone with Veronica, asking, without asking, if opening up to Penn was the right thing to do.
“Tell her what?” Veronica’s voice was so calm, so casual, yet determined to get an answer.
There were less than a handful of people in the world who knew about his past. Veronica was one of them. They’d grown up together. Shared a lot of the same experiences. She’d seen it all—or most of it.
She was usually so perceptive. Another reason he’d called her. He could have cryptic conversations without having to spell everything out, and she always knew exactly what he was saying.
But maybe her pregnancy hormones were messing with her Cole-receptors today. It seemed she needed things spelled out.
But suddenly she gasped, and his hidden meaning must have dawned on her.
“Is that why you called me? You want me to say it’s all right to tell her about your mom?”
He shrugged. Not that she could see it. “Maybe.”
“If you want my opinion… I think she can handle it.”
Penn was a strong, determined, independent, and successful woman, capable of many things. But processing her feelings for a man with a past like that might not be something she wanted to do, let alone would be capable of.
He had no home, no true parenting to speak of, no role models until Vivian Madewood, and all the instability and floundering that came along with that kind of life. People ended longer, deeper relationships for much less.
“Don’t you think I’m too big a mess?” he asked.
“A mess? No way.” Her response came out so fast it made him feel a little better. The fact that she hadn’t hesitated meant she truly believed it. “A huge pain in my ass? Definitely.” She laughed. “But I still love you.”
A short silence passed between them.
“Cole, what is this all about?”
If he couldn’t talk to V, how could he possibly talk to Penn? “Um…”
She let out a long sigh. “Look, I’m going to tell you something you’re not going to like.”
“Terrific.” He braced himself on the couch, letting his hand grip the arm so tight his fingers turned white.
“Cole…”
Here it comes. He was moody. Guarded. Too high-profile and too closed down for the risk to be worth it.
“You’re wonderful,” she said.
He stilled, letting the words wash over him. The unexpected and completely false statement had caught him off-guard.
“Are you listening to me?”
He shrugged again.
“Stop shrugging when I can’t see you, Cole Murphy. You know how much that annoys me.”
She should have been a teacher. Or, as her younger siblings always said, a prison warden. Her serious tone was enough to get the hair on his neck to stand up. At times, she was downright scary.
He heard stifled groans and heavy breaths. She was trying to get up. Over the last couple of weeks he’d really noticed a change in her. She waddled instead of walked. She was slower to do…everything. He’d never been witness to a pregnancy up close and personal before.