realized I was sitting with the man who had the answer to that question. Danny and Dev had tried to talk to me. Declan had pleaded his own case. Lee had accused me. But my father knew what it meant to be in my position. “How did you stop thinking about it?”
“I didn’t. Never, daughter. Not a day goes by that I don’t have some thought about what you went through. It’s a scar on my heart that I couldn’t protect you,” he said. “But it’s the joy of my life that you came through it, that you survived. You are my pride and my joy, Zoey. I might not have been the best father in the world, but I did some things right by you.”
It no longer mattered that my father looked like a gorgeous woman in her twenties. I saw my dad standing there in front of me. I saw him in his slightly wrinkled suit, his silver hair slicked back with that one piece that could never be tamed. I saw his hazel eyes, so much like mine. I looked far more like my mother, with the exception of my dad’s eyes. I saw the man who’d raised me when he’d had no idea what to do with a little girl. My mother had walked away. We’d both been scared that day, both emotional and sad and betrayed, and he’d shoved aside his own pain to comfort me.
I stood and so did he, as though he knew I needed to be in his arms. My dad hugged me and I was six again, desperate to know that he would be here, that he wouldn’t leave like my mother had.
“I wouldn’t have anyone else, Dad. No one. No matter what we went through. If I could pick a thousand times I would always pick you.”
He had been thoughtless and reckless at times. He’d allowed Danny and I to do things no other parent would. I’d been angry with him. No one could make me feel as small as my dad could when he ignored me. He’d also been my everything, and he’d done as well as any imperfect, flawed human being could do.
He’d loved me with every fiber of his being, and that was all I could ask, all I could truly wish for.
“And I would pick you, girl. Every single time.” He stepped back, his thumb wiping away my tears. “Zoey, you forgave me for my mistakes. You have to forgive yourself for something that wasn’t a mistake at all. You didn’t mean to leave them. You didn’t have a choice. They grew up without you physically there, but they didn’t grow up alone. Albert told them stories. Trent did, too. When they came back from the other planes, Neil wouldn’t stop telling them about their mom. And you were there in their hearts and souls. No amount of time could erase the love you gave them for the eleven years you were there. Stop wishing for what could have been and see what you have. I know that you will eventually wake up and be the mom they need. It’s what you do. But, my darlin’, I won’t be here to see it.”
I’d known. I’d known from the moment that flower had risen from the ground at Rhys’s command and bloomed for Shahidi that my father’s time was up. He wouldn’t stand between them, and staying inside Shy meant they couldn’t be together, couldn’t explore their feelings for one another. My dad would sacrifice for them. But there were other ways. “We’ll find another vessel.”
He shook his head, calm as I’d ever seen him. He was at peace with the decision he’d made. “No. My life was done a long time ago, my love. These last years have been a gift. They were a gift from Heaven, and a gift from this young woman who welcomed me inside her soul. She’s carried all of my burdens for years now. She carried them and shared herself with me in a way I can’t imagine. I honor her by letting her go. She’s going to be my granddaughter-in-law one day, if she’s brave enough. She’s been a joy to me, too. Getting to see the world through her eyes was a revelation, and she has so much to offer. She can do great things.”
He wasn’t merely talking to me. He was talking to Shy. He was letting her know he approved of her feelings and that he loved