I stood before them, seeing the perfect fit of Carson and cashmere from a variety of different angles. Leah and Mrs. Kirby made all sorts of comments and noises of approval. I couldn’t help but smile at their flattery. I also couldn’t help but agree with them; that sweater was made for me.
I was enjoying my modeling moment, laughing and twirling with exaggerated movements, when I spun back toward the mirror and saw a man standing several feet behind me. I looked at his reflection, the air hitching in my throat. My eyes met his in the glass. Instantly, I recognized the cool silver staring back at me, like mercury orbs set in a dark face.
It was the man from my dream, the stranger in the snow. His hair was even tied back, just as I’d imagined it would be. A chill skittered down my spine. It was laced with a little awe, a little fear and a little fascination. My heart fluttered in my chest as his eyes bored into mine. After a few seconds, he turned and walked away.
I watched the back of his dark head as he weaved through the racks. I was overcome with the most bizarre pulling sensation, like a magnet dragging at my insides, urging me to follow him.
When I could no longer see him, the breath I hadn’t even been aware of holding came rushing out. I whirled around, the air cool as it dried the sweat that had broken out on my brow.
“What’s the matter, Carson? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Did you get a glimpse of the price tag?” Leah quipped.
Every fiber of my being was still sharply focused on him. I struggled to bring my attention back to Leah. “Wh-what?” I asked, turning back to the mirror and finding Leah’s face in it. I watched her smile slowly faded. She wasn’t joking anymore. “What?” I repeated.
“Seriously, are you ok? You don’t look so good.”
Leah’s face was full of concern. I knew she wondered what was going on with me and why I was keeping it from her. For a split second I considered telling her. Everything. All of it. Just spilling my guts. After all, I trusted her. I knew I could tell her virtually anything in confidence and she’d keep my secrets. But, alas, I wouldn’t.
I sighed. Not an audible sigh, but a soul deep one, the kind you feel more than you hear. I wouldn’t tell Leah because I couldn’t do that to her. I couldn’t burden her like that. Plus, she couldn’t help me even if I did tell her. There’s nothing she or anyone else could do for me. And that included Dad.
Intuitively, I knew that whatever was happening to me, whatever this life-changing metamorphosis was, it was something I had to deal with on my own. It was between me and me, the old and the new, the known and the unknown.
Resolute, I pushed my troubled emotions aside, pulled my lips up into my biggest smile and did what I was learning to do best: pretend.
“You’re just jealous because I found this sweater first,” I teased.
Leah’s eyes drilled into mine for several long, tense seconds. I could almost see the indecision warring behind her chocolate eyes, but, in the end, her easy-going, unobtrusive nature won out and she smiled. Her decision was made. She was going to go along with my pretense.
“Yeah right. My sweater kicks the crap out of yours.”
And so the charade began, each of us bowing to the terms of our silent agreement to keep things light, no questions asked.
We continued in that manner for the rest of the evening, a simulation of lightheartedness that I found utterly exhausting. By the time they dropped me back at my house, I was ready for bed.
Sleep was elusive, though. Each time I’d doze off, the same dream would come, only I’d awaken as soon as I saw the stranger lying in the snow. I’d open my eyes to the dark ceiling of my room, heart flying, breathing shallow, palms sweating. I thought of my science fair project, but knew that I lacked the concentration to be able to make any progress. So I lay there in bed, staring at the ceiling, reliving those brief moments at the mall, wondering who the stranger was and why I’d felt so drawn to him.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Thursday came and went in a blur. Before I knew it, I was eating lunch in the cafeteria on Friday and