never shown the slightest interest in because they didn’t involve advanced mathematics?
The initial sting of envy quickly subsided, replaced by genuine pleasure for my friend. I had to smile; I’d never seen Leah this happy over a Mathletes championship before. She’d obviously realized that a shiny, gold trophy doesn’t have warm, sexy lips. But Ryan does.
Welcome to my world, I thought.
“That’s awesome, Leah,” I said sincerely. I was glad one of us would get to live something similar to a full life.
For the first time in our relationship, Leah and I were having a lively conversation that had captured both our attention. On the way home, I learned several things: the party is Friday night and she has nothing to wear; she trusts my fashion savvy enough to help her shop; she secretly looks forward to her first real kiss every bit as much as I do; she sweats down her back when she gets nervous; and she has an entire personality, one she keeps well hidden, that I’ve never seen before.
We were laughing like giddy school girls by the time we reached her mailbox. On the way home, it occurred to me that we should’ve been having these types of conversations all this time. I guess we were more abnormal than I’d originally thought.
My good mood hung in there through homework and supper preparation. It began to sag a little during the quietly uncomfortable meal I shared with Dad, but it perked back up within minutes of my feet hitting the pavement for my run.
When I got back, my mood was further preserved by a call from Leah, asking if I’d go with her and her mom to the mall tomorrow night to look for a new outfit. With only a moment’s hesitation, I said yes. Dad was sitting at the kitchen bar during the entire conversation, but he didn’t say a word.
“That was Leah,” I offered. He nodded, but said nothing. “She wants me to go shopping with her tomorrow night.” Still, he remained silent. “I told her I’d go.” He nodded again.
With a shrug, I turned to walk back to my room when Dad finally spoke. “Thanks for letting me know, butterfly.” The soft, pitiful way he said butterfly pinched at my heart. But I steeled myself, ignoring it. I wasn’t ready to forgive him yet.
“No problem,” I said casually and continued on to my room.
********
That night and the following morning were exact replicas of the previous one—sleep riddled with the same dream until, after the third go round, I refused to go back to sleep, choosing instead to work some more on my science fair project. I thought for a second about scrapping the whole thing. I was only doing it for Dad anyway. But then, when I considered how much time and energy I’d put into it plus how much it meant to Dad, I discarded the notion and carefully put it back on the shelf over my desk, to be completed later.
Leah’s mood was as contagious as it had been the previous day and her excitement was even greater, which meant I was feeling better in no time. Our walk seemed to fly by and I was actually smiling by the time the school double doors came into view.
We parted company still smiling. I made my way to my locker, thinking about Leah and her incredible turn of luck. What I should have been thinking about was avoiding Stephen.
I was waist deep in my locker when I heard my name.
“Carson?” He said my name tentatively, not at all what I expected after what had happened. I didn’t know what I was expecting—maybe violence or an extreme verbal beat down—but this wasn’t it.
“Yeah?”
“Look,” he said, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “I know I came on a little strong Monday and I’m sorry. I knew my friends were watching and…” he trailed off, as if that was explanation enough. And it was, though it was no excuse.
“I know. You had to make a good showing for them. Make sure everyone knew who was in control, how I’d be putty in your hands.”
“It’s not- I know—”
“Oh, no. I know exactly. Don’t even try to make excuses, Stephen. I thought you were a nice guy and I was wrong. Let’s just leave it at that.”
“I don’t want you to think that, though.”
“What? That you were a nice guy?’
“No, that I’m not a nice guy. Look, you just- I don’t know.” He paused as if