confident yet insecure at times. Slender, yet curvy. Tight, but soft. Strong, but tender.
I glanced over at the girl in question—the woman, I mean. She was all woman. A virgin, perhaps, but not entirely innocent, and all woman.
She was sleeping. Her head rested against the pillar near the seat belt, the end of her braid laying on her shoulder. Mouth slightly open. Hands tucked between her thighs.
This was sweet, innocent Torie. Looking at her like this made my heart do melting flips, which was confusing because I’d never felt this way about anyone before.
How can I leave her? That thought ran through my head, back and forth, again and again,
as I drove, putting miles behind us, trying in vain to forget that little motel room where I’d gotten my first taste of the most magical woman I’d ever encountered.
Scenes from the night before and this morning ran through my head.
Torie, sleepy, erotic hunger blazing in her eyes. Reaching under the waistband of my underwear, grasping me. Taking me in her mouth, taking me to heights of ecstasy I’d never experienced before. Writhing under my mouth, her spine arched to press her slit into my tongue.
I wondered if she realized she’d squirted. I’d heard about that, of course, seen it on the internet, but I always figured it was some exaggerated, scripted porn thing.
But, no.
She’d squirted all over my hands. Not enough that there’d been a wet spot on the bed, and she may not have even noticed with how far gone into orgasmic bliss she’d been.
Fuck, so hot.
I needed to stop thinking about this shit or I’d get myself all worked up again. I needed to get my shit together and really figure things out.
But then…what was there to figure out?
I wanted her.
I wanted to sleep with her.
I wanted to be with her.
I wanted to bend her over the bed and fuck her until she lost her damned mind. I wanted to make slow sweet gentle love to her, something I’d never wanted or done with anyone.
I wanted it all, with her. And only her. I wanted to dive into everything she was as a person and never come back up.
That scared me shitless, absolutely shitless.
We passed by Chicago, hitting a brief slowdown in traffic right outside the city, and Torie kept sleeping.
And I kept waffling.
How can I leave her?
What right did I have to take her virginity, and then just casually go back to my life in Connecticut? She said she didn’t want her first experience of sexual intercourse to be casual, one-time. And maybe if we did have sex, it wouldn’t be casual, and definitely not just once, because I knew once I got inside her, I’d need her as many times as I could get her. But still, it was not what she wanted.
Which begged the question, what did she want? She said she didn’t expect it to be love, but what was there that was less than love and more than casual?
It made me think maybe she was avoiding what she really did want, which was love, and she was just scared of actually allowing herself to want it.
And if that was the case, sleeping with her would be a massive mistake for both of us. I probably shouldn’t have let anything happen at all. But it was done and I had no regrets. But shit, I wanted more. So much more.
And if I let it happen, I risked breaking her heart.
And mine.
Yeah, mine too.
“Deep in thought, there, are you?” Torie’s voice was sleepy and amused, startling me.
I jumped, laughing. “Holy shit, you scared me.”
“I’ve been awake and watching you for like, ten or fifteen minutes. I think you’re driving on autopilot.”
I chuckled, rubbed the back of my neck. “Yeah, I guess. Just thinking.”
She sat up, rubbed her eyes. Stretched—and damn, the sight of her stretching was distracting enough that I had to force my eyes away or risk a wreck. “Feel like talking about it?”
I shrugged, sighed. “I dunno. You?”
She glanced away. “Honestly? No, not yet.”
I laughed and sighed. “Good, me either.”
Torie was looking out the window and she said, “Where are we?”
“Just outside Chicago.”
She looked back at me. “You want to switch?”
I nodded. “Yeah, actually.”
We ended up driving to the next exit with food. This time we went in—another fast food joint with burgers and milkshakes. With the topic at hand weighing heavily, we were pretty quiet, suppressing any idle chitchat.
We finished our lunch, used the restrooms, gassed up and rolled back onto the