she obviously wasn’t into it, if not actively hurt by it. I don’t know. Never got the chance to ask, obviously. But, I guess I’m not exactly a small guy, and I didn’t know she was a virgin, so the first time I…I went in, I wasn’t…I wasn’t as gentle as I would’ve been, had I known.” He looked at me, assessing my reaction.
I could see how me being a virgin would mess with him, considering that story. “Rhys, that was not your fault.”
He shook his head, shrugged. “No, I know. But I still feel bad. I just remember having the impression she was wincing the whole time, and I can’t help but wonder if she’d ever actually enjoy sex, if that was her first experience. I just feel bad.”
“You shouldn’t. She used you. Being a virgin is an important thing not to disclose.”
“Yeah, no kidding.”
Another silence.
I swallowed hard. “So, where does this leave us?”
“I…don’t know.” He scratched his jaw. “Maybe we should hit the road, and each of us can spend some time thinking.”
“Yeah,” I whispered. “Probably smart.”
He touched my thigh. “Torie, I’m not saying I don’t…that how I feel about you has changed. It hasn’t. But the reasons you didn’t want to start anything haven’t changed either.”
“But what you want and what I want might be different. Where I want us to go from here may not look the same as what you want it to look like.”
“Right.” His voice was quiet, perhaps a little distant.
I looked away, shifted away from him. “So, we’ll just get dressed and head out, maybe stop for breakfast somewhere along the way.”
I shifted off the bed, gathered my clothes from the floor. I contemplated taking my things into the bathroom to change but didn’t see a point. He’d seen all of me there was to see at this point, so why bother with modesty or privacy? I stepped into a clean thong, and then the same jeans I’d been wearing, tugged on a clean plain green V-neck T-shirt, and my sandals, shoving the boots into the bag along with the dirty underwear and T-shirt.
Rhys watched me dress with fascination.
I glanced at him, smirking a question. “What? Never watched a girl get dressed?”
“I mean, yeah, sure. But it never loses its sexiness. And watching you dress is almost as hot as seeing you naked.”
I bit my lip around a flattered grin. “You’re sweet. If I’d known you thought it was that hot, I may have made more of a show of it.”
His eyes flicked over my chest, my braless breasts poking against the thin T-shirt, as if he hadn’t just had his hands and mouth all over them. “Maybe good you didn’t. If you’d put on a show, we’d never leave.”
I slung my bag over one shoulder. “Don’t tempt me, Rhys. We’re supposed to be taking time to think about things.”
He sighed. “I know. But I can’t help wanting to get you naked and screaming every time I look at you.”
I had to get out of here before I tore off my clothes and threw caution and prudence to wind. “Dammit, Rhys. You and your dirty, sexy mouth.” I turned away, headed for the door. “Get dressed before anything else happens.”
He just let out a dry, amused chuckle as I made my escape outside.
Within a couple minutes, Rhys joined me outside and we jumped into the Jeep and headed out—it looked like he’d done the same thing as me: clean underwear and a T-shirt, but same jeans as yesterday.
Once we hit the highway, top back, wind blowing and sun shining, it was easier for me to sink into my complicated, twisted, chaotic thoughts and feelings regarding Rhys, my attraction to him, and my virginity.
I didn’t know what I wanted the future to look like. Time to think was definitely necessary. But he was…cooled off toward me. Maybe cooled off wasn’t the right phrase. I’d instigated things last night and this morning. And, honestly, if nothing else happened between us, I wouldn’t regret anything. If anything, I was glad I’d gone for it. He’d made me feel things I hadn’t known were possible. I hadn’t known I could come like that—once, hard, and all the way.
And god knows I’d learned a delightful lesson in making him feel good. In fact, I was fighting a seething desire to get my mouth on him again. I’d never imagined I’d want to do that. But I did. Badly. The short time I’d had my mouth on him,