to be sad, but more than anything, I want him to know what happened to Joey and me isn’t his fault, but instead of doing any of those things, I bump the two-seater dining table out of my way with my hip before straddling his lap. The old wooden chair I sat on every morning for almost eighteen years creaks in protests about our combined weight. It won’t collapse, though. Life couldn’t be so cruel to the same man continuously. He eventually has to catch a break, doesn’t he?
Hopefully, I am that for him.
Although Brandon hardens beneath me in an instant, hesitation still fires in his eyes, “Melo—”
I steal the unease from his throat with my tongue by kissing him with everything I have. It goes above and beyond our kiss at the gala and fills my heart with both sentimental muckiness and an urge to wipe the slate clean. He smells different, yet the same. His jaw is holding the beloved prickles it always had when we weren’t at school, and the living room is fully lit.
I feel safe and protected even with my heart racing a million miles an hour.
This is a huge step for me, but I can imagine it’s even more massive for Brandon. This is all so fresh and new to him, he still thinks my rape occurred last week. I’m not fairing much better, but unlike Brandon, I’ve had years of counseling and the care of a supporting man to see me through it.
He has no one but me.
The knowledge has me deepening our embrace.
Mercifully, Brandon kisses me back, forever an equal participant in each exchange we’ve shared. It isn’t a hurried kiss or a messy one. He doesn’t demand anything more than I’m willing to give and follows the prompts of my lips and tongue when I require more. It’s perfect, just like him.
“Please,” I murmur over his mouth when he stops the slither of my hand to the waistband of his pants.
He locks his eyes with mine. They’re wide and brimming with lust. His lips are well kissed, and his cheeks are heated. He wants this, he’s just afraid to answer the many pleas filtering through his head. He’s always been so logical-thinking. Even when we were kids, he was forever looking two steps ahead.
Hoping I can get him over the line, I remove myself from his lap, gather his hand in mine, then guide him to my room. It’s not my childhood bedroom. I had trouble sleeping there our first night here, so Brandon agreed to switch rooms with me, so I could have the guest bedroom. It didn’t aid in getting more sleep, but it was a little less awkward.
Brandon doesn’t utter a sound the entire trip to my room, but he does gasp out a breath when I push him onto the bed before balancing my knee between his splayed thighs. My aggressiveness in the bedroom is nothing new to him. It’s the unbuttoning of my shirt that has his lungs fighting for air.
I send thanks to my mom for good genes when Brandon’s hand moves to cup my breasts after I fan open my shirt. It’s like he’s acting on instincts. He’s here, but he isn’t really here if that makes any sense.
The nervousness knotted in my stomach slackens when his index finger creeps into the space between the lace of my bra and my heated skin. Excitement bundles low in my stomach, loving the roughness of his finger on my silky-smooth nipple.
While peering up at me, he tugs down the cups of my bra, fully exposing my breasts to his avid eyes before he sucks one of my nipples into his warm and inviting mouth. I call out, the sensation overwhelming. When we were teens, I thought I had sensitive nipples. Numerous attempts to self-please myself the past seven years prove I don’t. Brandon just has the knack for knowing the exact amount of suction to use and the perfect pressure of his teeth.
“More,” I beg, signing, my mind too spiraling to talk.
“Guide me,” Brandon murmurs against my breasts, heightening my senses even more. “Tell me what to do.” His voice is still as stiff as his movements, but my mind is too hazed by lust to look further into it.
I need this as much as my lungs desire their next breath.
“Take my shirt off, then my bra.” He does both things in a calm, precise way that has my emotions teetering in a good way. “Now