her again, but she stepped back.
“So, what now?” she said, her voice quiet and flat, the bright smile gone.
“With the mission, you mean?” Noah said, deliberately avoiding the elephant in the room. “Well, one they’ve executed their plan for the arrest, they’ll bring your brother in to police headquarters for questioning and then bring formal charges based on the evidence.”
She nodded, staring down at her toes. “And what about us?”
“They’ll want to talk to you too,” he said. “Interview you about the abduction and your time in St. Dourdane. Any interactions with your brother you’ve had since your parents died. They’ll probably want to talk to other people at your company, too. If you’ve got a legal department on staff, you might want to let them know what’s going on so they’ll be prepared if some detectives come by, wanting to talk to your workers.” He hazarded a look at her and found her watching him, her gaze solemn and serious. “And as far as everything else, it should be safe for you to return home in a few days, once the arrest takes place. After that, you’ll want to continue to take precautions for the time being, of course, in case anyone out of the loop thinks the price on your head is still active, but maybe—”
“Noah,” she said, giving him a stern look. “I’m talking about us. You and me and Gracie.”
His chest seemed to cave in on itself, a black hole emerging where his heart used to be and sucking all the joy out of his universe. But this was how it had to be. There couldn’t be a “them,” a family unit with the three of them. Not with his dangerous lifestyle in SSoF and her work taking her all over the globe. His life was here in Atlanta. Hers was wherever her corporation or charities needed her. Gracie would stay with her. He’d see the kid when he could, if he could. She’d probably be better off without him being around too much, anyway.
Knowing it was the right thing didn’t make doing it any easier, though.
Summoning the stoic reserve that had been trained into him in the SEALs, he gave curt nod. “As of now, there is no ‘us.’ The mission is over and we both return to our normal realities. The fantasy we lived in for the last few weeks is gone.”
She flinched slightly and he fisted his hands to keep from reaching out and pulling her back into him. This hurt worse than when he’d taken shrapnel after an IED explosion. There were still a few tiny metal pieces stuck in his calf from that, but they were nothing compared to the iron blade stabbing through his raging emotions. He didn’t show any of that inner turmoil, though, because he couldn’t. It would break him. So instead he just stood there, waiting for his words to sink in.
“But what about last night?” she asked, reaching for him. This time he stepped back, and her hand fell to her side. “What about our future?”
“There is no future for us.” His voice sliced through the air between them like a scalpel, cutting out the happiness they could have had together, ripping it to shreds. “This isn’t one of those things you can wish into reality. I warned you about that in the jungle. There is no us.”
Finally, Serena swallowed hard and headed for the stairs. “Thanks for letting me know. I’m going to go up and check on Gracie now.”
Noah watched her go, knowing he’d just taken the most precious thing in the world and thrown it all away. But he wouldn’t take it back, even if he could. There was no other way. With no reason to stay there any longer, he turned and walked back out to his car, then drove away, staring at the outline of the house until it disappeared around the corner. He’d call Serena later and check in on Gracie, but for now, he needed to get out of there before he lost it, big time, and begged her to forget what he’d said and stay with him forever.
Forever wasn’t in the cards for them, no matter how he dealt them.
20
Two days later, Spencer had agreed to a plea deal in which he’d help law enforcement and SSoF capture Nate Carson. Until then, Noah and Serena were both packing up what little they had to move out of Levon and Olive’s house and go their separate ways.
This had been