I know trying to lump him and my mother together is ridiculous but I wasn’t thinking straight. I felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest and shattered into a million pieces.
Today, we are driving to LA and I am going to confront my mother. I want to know why. Ryan is going to submit the evidence and dispatch the police to her house. Hunter is coming with me because I know that I’ll need the support. I have never been one to stand up to my mother, although with the anger that I have in me, I don’t think that will be a problem.
“You ready, babe?” I look up at him and a tinge of fear runs through me. This whole situation has made me realize I finally lost my mother, for good. Now all I have left is Hunter, and all I can think about is the possibility of losing him too. Could I survive losing him? He used to be such a player. What if I can’t keep him interested? What if he gets bored of me? My insecurities are running wild. I try to push them back down but I can’t get rid of them.
“Yeah.” I stand up and walk out to the car, completely bypassing him. I know that he hasn’t done anything and punishing him for what I think he may end up doing is wrong, but I do it anyway. At this point, I know I’m being self-destructive but I make no move to stop myself.
Hunter gets into the car and looks over at me. “You okay?”
I nod my head, staring out the windshield. When he pulls out of the driveway, I turn on the radio, hoping that the music will distract him from any attempt at conversation. I don’t even listen to the music. My own thoughts are so jumbled, each fighting for my attention. My subconscious is in bitch mode and she is taunting me.
Your own mother couldn’t love you, why would he?
Maybe he was in on it too.
Maybe they all laughed at you about it.
You really think you can keep him?
You are unlovable.
Your daddy, mommy, no one wanted you.
Why would Hunter want you?
The only thing you have is money and you pay him well enough that he can quit soon.
Then you’ll be all alone.
No one will care.
I take a deep breath, trying to calm my anxiety. When Hunter’s hand touches my bare leg, I jump. “Sam, we’re here. What’s going on?”
“Nothing. I’m fine.” I get out of the car before he can ask me anything else. I look at the house in front of me. I have never been here and she bought it five years ago. No holidays. No birthdays. No girls’ nights. Nothing. It’s almost like the house is taunting me.
I climb the steps, feeling Hunter’s presence behind me. I knock on the door. When it opens, my mother stands in the doorway, every hair exactly in place as always. She seems to be the picture of perfection, like she always tried to make me into. I could never achieve it though.
“Samantha, what are you doing here? And with him.” She looks past me at Hunter, disgust prominently displayed in her expression.
“I need to talk to you.” I push past her, making my way into the house and finding the living room. I look around at all the nice things in the house. Nice things bought with my money. Anger replaces the insecurity that has been plaguing me the whole drive.
“I would tell you that what you just did was very rude. However, manners seem to be lost on you, so I won’t waste my breath. I have a nail appointment in a few minutes, so you will need to make whatever this is quick. If you wanted a meeting you really should have scheduled one.” She sits down, smoothing the wrinkles out of her skirt without a care in the world.
“Schedule a meeting? I’m your daughter! Does that really mean nothing to you? Do I mean that little to you?” I yell, losing any control I walked in here with.
She laughs at me. “Now don’t be dramatic. There is no need to raise your voice. You seem a little scattered, dear. Is it that time of the month, or did this leech manage to get you pregnant like I predicted? Either way, as I said, I have an appointment.”
She moves to stand up. “Don’t you dare fucking leave. I know, Mother. I know what you