no, my neglected body is all in.
I rise on shaking legs. At least half of this shaking is arousal, not fear or anger. But I'm not about to play into their hands. For all I know, they've decided this is the way to win, conquer me, get me to lower my guard in some marathon orgy, then laugh and discard me the next day. If that's their plan it would break me completely.
If they did that I would have just had three players playing the long game on me. No, thank you. No way am I doing all I've done just to have the same ending... Again.
“I most certainly will not!” I practically hiss at them.
I can't do this. It's insane. And even if I could, it would break every pretense I've set up that I'm some kind of classy lady who doesn't just share my body with anyone. I can't give myself to all three of them. It's too fucked-up even for my twisted fantasies.
“Sit!” Griffin says.
People at nearby tables actually turn and stare. I'm torn between fleeing—which will only call more attention to myself—and just sitting back down. I choose to flee.
Livia
When it rains it pours
One year ago. Last June.
When I tearfully packed up my stuff and left my boyfriend last year I decided then and there that this would never happen to me again. I'm not completely sure he even was my boyfriend. We just sort of moved in together. And stupid me thought that meant something. He wasted two years of my life in this situationship.
Before him, three other men wasted: eight months, a year and a half, and three months respectively. I'd slept with all of these losers because we were exclusive and I thought somehow I was on the road to an engagement ring, the wedding of my dreams, and my happily ever after. I wanted something serious and real, and I'd thought I was doing everything right.
After a couple of weeks crying into pints of ice cream and torturing myself with rom coms, I decided I was done being played and used and kept as a placeholder in some guy's life until something better came along. I started following different dating coaches online until I happened upon what I was sure was the solution to all my problems with men.
Men had game? Well, I now had Lady Game. And it was air tight. No man would ever screw me over again because I had decided instead of focusing all my attention on one man at a time while he waited around and kept me on the hook and made me crazy wondering if he really wanted me like I wanted him and if this was going somewhere, I would date multiple men. Indefinitely.
And I wouldn't sleep with anyone until someone put an engagement ring on my finger. I know that sounds crazy and extreme, but I was fed up and I had about seventeen testimonials of women this had worked for. And if it didn't work, I'd planned to get about five cats and settle into a cranky cat lady future.
I've been keeping a rotating dating roster for the last six blissful low-stress months. I never have to wonder anymore... where is this relationship going? What did he mean by that text message? Why didn't he call me? I just don't care. I don't have to find a way to make it work with the one guy all my focus and energy is on. Because it's not just one guy. I have other options.
And if one treats me poorly or just isn't that into me, I drop him and find someone to replace him. Men have been dating this way forever, and it's fucking brilliant. If men dated like women, honing in and falling into accidental monogamy by the third date we'd have total romantic gridlock while the whole world lived lives of quiet desperation with the wrong person.
Yes, I am now the CEO of my own life. Since I started this new strategy I've been taken out on real dates, treated with respect, and wondering why every woman in the world hasn't figured out the magic of keeping several men in rotation. When they know you aren't just seeing them, somehow magically the check gets paid without complaint or making me feel like a supervillain for just wanting to be cared for.
But it does get exhausting. I found out the hard way that five men is just way too many. I had