hand from between her legs.
“Soren,” I say.
He gives me an annoyed look but he does the same, and Livia lets out a relieved sigh.
“Thank you,” she whispers. I'm not sure if she's speaking to just me or to both of us. Dayne is deep in a conversation with Cheryl about some mundane topic or other, completely oblivious to what he just missed out on.
16
Livia
Wedding Plans
Five months ago. January.
When I surrendered to Soren's plans, a part of me had thought I had a year of freedom left. I mean, isn't that how long it takes to plan a fancy wedding? Somehow I had rested safe in the idea that I wouldn't have to figure out how to exist with the three of them together for another whole year. Maybe in that time I could shake my dangerous attraction. Maybe I could figure out a way to get out of it.
But as it turns out, Soren knows a guy—because of course he does—and we were able to book The Fremont for the reception along with the presidential suite for the wedding night with only a six month lead time. And the church for the ceremony? It's the biggest and most historic Catholic church in the city. Soren attended as a child but he's not so big on church these days—still, he gets nostalgic about tradition.
They were booked two years in advance but Soren made an impressive donation, and so now the Franco/Kit wedding will be happening somewhere else. Don't feel too bad for them, they're getting an all expenses paid first class honeymoon in Greece, courtesy of Soren.
I've been armed with a black card and my very own wedding planner: Patrice Beauchamp. I'm fairly certain this woman could get a rabid pit bull to wear a tuxedo and walk down the aisle in perfect timing to The Wedding March. She is the most persuasive one human I think I've ever encountered.
I know this is starting to sound like poor little soon-to-be rich girl with the sky's-the-limit dream wedding. I get it. But you can't understand how the world shifted under my feet the night of the proposal. You didn't feel the ice that flowed out of Soren and covered me like my own personal never ending winter. I'm not much more certain about Griffin. Even Dayne isn't as non-threatening as he appeared when we first met.
I'm no longer sure if I would have said yes if only one of them had proposed and if they'd never known each other. Maybe I've always known I was playing in a fantasy world that could never be real. I didn't want men wasting my time, sure. And I did want marriage and a family—I do want that—but I also want love, and I'm no longer convinced that's what I'm getting—from any of them. It feels like what I'm getting instead is a gilded cage and no safeword.
“Earth to Livia,” my mother says.
I look up and blush, embarrassed that I've been lost for the past fifteen minutes inside my head. Today has been an intense day of wedding planning. So far I've tried on about fifty dresses and can't make up my mind, so we've tabled that issue for today.
My mother, Macy, and Patrice are about to taste wedding cake with me to see if I can make my mind up about that. I feel like Patrice is judging me for not being a more excited or decisive bride. I haven't been oohing and aahing over all the things her brides normally get excited about.
Soren should be here for this, but he said whatever I wanted would be fine with him. He apparently has no opinions on anything about this wedding except that I get whatever I want. I feel like I'm marrying myself, and if I'm being honest none of this even seems real at all. It feels like a show.
It's so tempting to believe in these kind gestures, “the sky's the limit”, “you can get whatever you want”, but my mind continues to flash back to that night in Griffin's penthouse when Soren exposed my breasts to all three of them and set upon me like a devouring animal before Griffin stopped him. What would my family think if they knew it wasn't just Soren? They'd be mortified by this sordid arrangement.
My mother hasn't been able to stop talking about the gorgeous Tiffany engagement ring and what a catch Soren is. She has bragged to every woman she's ever met about that ring and