she forced herself through what had to be painful for her. “If you wish to be released from My service, I’ll grant your request now.”
“Are you … letting us go, Your Highness?” Lady Orvyki asked, clearly stricken.
Lia’s smile warmed as she gazed on the young woman. “Not unless you want to be released. If you stay, however, your duties will change. In some ways they’ll be lightened. In other ways, I’ll require much more of you.” She glanced up at me, her gaze holding secrets. “First and foremost, I’ll need true loyalty from you.”
Calla’s head snapped up. “We have all been loyal to You, Your Highness.”
“Have you? Then why was Ibolya the only one who accompanied Conrí to Yekpehr to rescue Me?” Lia replied, her voice going cold.
The other ladies looked at one another. None seemed to have an answer. Lia’s hand weighed more heavily on my arm, as if she grew weary. “You all swore to serve Me, to protect Me to your utmost ability. I needed My ladies, and in My hour of greatest need, where were you?”
None of them could meet her eyes. “Your Highness was gone from Calanthe,” Nahua said finally. “What could we do?”
Lia nodded, as if confirming something to herself. “For a long time Calanthe was all the world to us, but no longer. The world has reached out to Calanthe, and I am not the queen I was. Perhaps you served Me because it was a job you were given, or because of the status it conveys. The why doesn’t matter. The pretty playacting is over now. If that’s all you were here for, I don’t want you.” Several of them flinched. “I don’t intend to be cruel, but I—” Lia’s voice faltered, and I squeezed her hand. Ambrose and Sondra had drawn near, quietly listening, and Lia’s gaze went to Sondra. “I have learned something of loyalty, of courage in the face of adversity,” Lia continued, speaking to Sondra. “I won’t settle for anything less again.”
They all bowed their heads sniffling. “Take some time. Come to Me, if and when you are ready,” Lia finished, not unkindly. “Conrí, Ambrose, Sondra, Merle, Ibolya—are you all ready to return to the palace?”
We mounted up and rode down the Pilgrims’ Path a sober group.
“I didn’t intend to put such a damper on the celebrations,” Lia said quietly, riding beside me. Vesno raced ahead, delighted to be on the move again. I knew how he felt.
I shrugged. “You did what you needed to do.”
She raised a brow at me, shaking back the flower-laden glory of her hair. “You would’ve done the same?” she asked in a gruff, stern voice that was clearly an imitation of me.
“Well, yeah.” I made my voice even deeper and gruffer as I scowled meanly. “You don’t get a rep for being the terrifying and ruthless razer of cities by being nice.”
She laughed, the clear bell-like sound much better. “I see I shall have to work on my ‘rep,’” she replied.
“You don’t need to,” I replied very seriously. “I’ve never seen a ruler whose people loved them more than your people love you.”
Looking sorrowful, she grimaced. “Do they? I don’t know anymore. Or maybe, I wonder who it is they think they love.”
“Too much truth?”
“Could be.” She picked up a long lock of flowering hair, examining it. When she looked up at me, her gaze was soulful. “I thought My ladies loved Me. And now I feel like I was blind to so many things. Things that maybe I didn’t want to know. I’ve drunk the waters of truth long before this. Why didn’t I see more clearly before?”
I pondered that. “Why drink the waters more than once?”
“Because our truths change over time, as we gain experience, live life, hopefully mature—ah, I see your point.”
“Yeah. Your ladies do love you, but maybe you need a different kind of love from them now. It makes sense that your expectations would change. The queen you are now needs a different kind of support than the one you were before all this.”
She nodded thoughtfully. “I didn’t even realize I was so angry and disappointed with them until I saw them at the temple. They acted like nothing had changed, like I was the same as I’d always been, as if I hadn’t suffered what I did and we’d just go back to the same life. Like little girls playing at being queen.”
“I guess nothing did change for them, right?”
She eyed me. “I see things very