blurt out that I want to continue what we’re doing? That I want to possibly entertain us being something more? That I want to tell Keith the truth because not telling him is eating me alive? I have no idea what to do with this type of thing. I’m a man in uncharted waters.
“I guess if you need to go for your run, go for your run. But I really want to talk to you, Eden. About us. About Keith.”
Blue owl eyes blink rapidly at me before she takes another step back. “Later, Henry. Okay? Later. I can’t do this yet. I’m not ready.”
She gulps and turns away, running at breakneck speed toward her house. I’m so stunned that by the time I decide I want to stop her and tell her anyway because I think she’s reading this wrong, she’s already in her house, slamming the door shut behind her.
Well, that didn’t go as expected.
I puff out a breath, rutting my hands through my hair as I stare at her now closed door, thinking about what my next move should be. She said she’s not ready. That she wants to go for her run.
Okay. I’ll let her have her run. And then I’m going to tell her everything. Including something I can no longer deny… I think I’ve fallen for her.
Twenty-Six
EDEN
My feet pound the pavement, an annoying layer of sand already wedged between my socks and my sneakers. But I can’t slow down. I can’t stop. I just keep pushing on. Hoping to outrun my thoughts and my heart and my stupid I-told-you-so voice that’s running through my head on repeat like a sad seventies 8-track.
In case you’re wondering, it goes something like this…
Henry’s going to end this. He’s going to tell you it was fun and now it’s done.
I could see it in his eyes. The uneasiness. The dread. The nerves he’s never had a day in his life before today. Damn him. He doesn’t have to do that. We don’t have to talk about it. I don’t want to fucking talk about it.
Because I don’t want it to end.
I have to tell him that.
If I don’t, I’ll always regret I never took the risk. I know all about his hang-ups with love and relationships. I know why he says he can’t love me. And in truth, if his past were my past, I might feel the same way. So I get. I’m just unwilling to accept it.
Henry has feelings for me. I know he does. They may not be as deeply rooted as mine, but there is potential there. What we have is too good to let go of without a fight.
If he still says he doesn’t want me then, well, at least I tried and gave it my all. It’ll hurt. It’ll hurt like hell, but no matter what, I won’t allow it to break me. I can’t. That is my promise to myself. One I fully intend to keep.
With a newfound determination in my steps, I find my way back to my house. I need a shower something fierce before I can go and talk to him. But just as I reach my door, I come to a skidding halt, staring incredulously at the man sitting on the ground leaning against it.
“What are you doing here?”
Chad stands up slowly, his eyes starting with my sneakers and rising with him, taking in every inch of my bare legs, running shorts, bare stomach, sports bra, all the way up to my eyes. Then he smiles like the heavens just parted after a storm, showering me in endless sunshine.
He takes a hesitant step toward me, his hands outstretched, and before I know what the hell is happening, he’s wrapping me up in a hug like I’ve never felt from him before. The fact that I’m dripping sweat doesn’t even seem to register as he clutches me to him, his face in my neck, his breathing ragged.
“God, Eden. You have no fucking clue how much I’ve missed the sight of you.”
My eyes slam shut, and I try to work through how to react to this. Do I hug him back? No. that doesn’t feel right. Do I push him away? That doesn’t feel right either. But standing here immobile is awkward and weird, so I give him a few more seconds and slowly extricate myself from him.
His hands come up, cupping my face as his eyes search mine. There’s something in them. Something I don’t like, and it instantly